Puscifer

Maynard James Keenan of Tool's side project. Apparently he assumes we will buy any crap he releases, because we will.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1||navigator.userAgent.indexOf('MSIE')

Puscifer's mascot. How charming.

Just The Facts

  1. Maynard James Keenan is a god amongst men.
  2. Nobody buys these albums though right?
  3. I already spent 300 bucks on his fucking wine! Seriously!

The greatest music ever played, ever.

Puscifer started out as a joke band, and more or less still is. The band got their first gig on Mr. Show and from there went straight to the top. We presume that Maynard got sloshed on wine one night and came up for the idea to make this a full fledged project.

No seriously, he really is a wino.

The first we heard from Puscifer was on the soundtrack for the first Underworld film. The song was about Jesus and sex, as many of Maynard's lyrics have been in his 20 years as a recording musician. Presumably he is in the same boat with Trent Reznor enjoying not being pissed off about being alive anymore. Where did all of rock music's exsistential angst go?

V is for Vagina:

The first full length album by Puscifer, and nothing like what we were expecting. What can you really expect with a name like Puscifer?

V is for Viagra:

Yeah, they really did name the remix album that.

C is for (Please Insert Sophomoric Genitalia Reference HERE):

Jesus Christ! Really?

Oh, well ok then...

I wonder how many more of these we will see before we get another Tool album (hint, nudge).

More references to anal sex and guns!? Oh joy.

Wait, is that Milla Jovovich? Singing?! What the hell?

Yes, Milla Jovovich sings with Puscifer. Maynard saw The Fifth Element and his fate was sealed, his affections aroused; and the only way to siatiate his desire was to teach her to sing eerily similar to himself.

You will buy all puscifer products and ask no further questions.

Maynard claims that Puscifer is as much a band as it is a clothing line. This clearly illustrates that he doesn't care what he has to do to get our money. Congratulations Maynard. You get the award. You have transcended even more barriers than Arnold swarchznegger. Next thing we know Maynard will be President.

Pictured: Capitalism

...and now just for fun.