Ray Allen

Ray Allen is an NBA superstar and probably the greatest basketball jumpshooter ever. His mom goes to all his games and loves his game- a little too much.

'That's m'boy'

Just The Facts

  1. Ray Allen currently plays for the NBA's Boston Celtics who won the NBA championship in 2008 and came 2nd in 2010
  2. He demonstrated his acting skills in Spike Lee's 'He Got Game', where he starred opposite Denzel Washington
  3. Ray is tipped to become the NBA's all time leader in 3-point field goals made. He is currently 81 off Reggie miller's record of 2,560

Some Stuff about the man

Allen was born in 1975 to a military family and took to the game at a young age. After a whole lot of high school success Ray went to the University of Connecticut to play college basketball. It was at this time when people began to take notice of Ray's freakish shooting ability. He shattered the Connecticut Huskey record by making 115 3-pointers in a single season.

In 1995 he was drafted to the NBA by the Minnesota Timberwolves but was traded to the Milwaukee Bucks on draft. In his draft class he was selected 5th ahead of future MVP's Steve Nash and the infamous Kobe Bryant, with whom he has a somewhat turbulent relationship stemming from Allen basically telling Kobe to stop whining like little girl during the Shaq vs. Kobe fiasco. Their rivalry is like the stuff of Ash vs. Gary Pok�©mon folklore.

After 6 and a half solid seasons, in which he was voted an all-star 3 times, he was again traded. This time to the Seattle Supersonics. It was here he would begin to showcase the pants-shittingly fast shot technique and fitness that he is noted for. He rocketed up the 3-pointers made ladder while in Seattle, decimating opposing teams with nearly assassin like accuracy and range. In January 2007 he had a career night scoring 54 points against the Utah Jazz. He achieved 3 more all-stars as a Sonic.

In 2007, for some reason, he was traded by the sonics to the team he's still a member of today, The Boston Celtics. 2007 for the Celtics was like the start of 2010 was supposed to be for the heat and was the biggest trade in basketball up until this year when Pat Riley shafted a load of 'nonody' players to make way for the GIGANTIC ego of one lebron James.

Anyway, NBA Superstar, and needlessly competitive nut-job Kevin Garnett was also brought to the Celtics. The Celtics were hoping to finally give their only notable big time player, Paul Pierce some backup. And so the Big 3 came together and had most other teams shaking in their nicely color-coded basketball attire. Nobody expected things to mesh straight away but.. they did. With sexy results.

In the season that followed the huge summer-trade, the Celtics DOMINATED. Seriously, they coasted to the NBA Finals and beat the Lakers in 6 games. Allen was only delighted to get one up on his Pallet Town style rival, that black mamba guy. Allen was a cold-blooded killer all season, connecting on 41% of his 3-pointers and Ninety-fucking-five % of his free-throws.

The Lakers got a victory over the Celtics last year in 7 games but Allen went off in Game 2 going 8-11 from beyond the 3-point line, breaking his airness Mike Jordan's record of 6 3's in one half and breaking Scottie Pippen's record of 7 in one game.

He's poised to become the all-time NBA leader in 3pointers made. Its likely he'll surpass Reggie Millers record before he retires in the future. That's pretty darn inpressive.

Allen's game is amazing. Really, the guy is a fit as ever even though hes 35 and considered a big ol' vet of the game. When asked about his conditioning he once stated that he hadn't eaten a cheeseburger or anything as unhealty as that since he was 15! Good Lord. He has to be fit, though. One of the Celtic gameplans discussed in the Mighty-Duck huddles is as follows, "We wanna put points on the board quick, get Ray open, then give Ray the ball so Ray can drain a 3. Repeat as many times as necessary. Alright? Break!" Ray Allen literally runs on offense all game long. He gets big screens from the towering figures of KG, Glen Davis, Kendrick Perkins and Shaq which get him open for 3 balls. People say, "Hey if I was getting solid screens of those houses i'd get open all the time too!". To them I say, "Yeah, yeah you would, but could you sustain running like that all game, every game?" You run sideline to sideline coming off screens. You get open and the PG doesn't see you or he cant make the pass. Do it again over and over and over, then we'll talk.

Allen is known for his lightening quick and ridiculously high shot release. It is widely believed he has the single most perfect jumpshot basketball has seen. Ever. He credits this to a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. As in he makes his form perfect every single time. I want some a that OCD shit. He also arrives at games 2-3 hours early to get some shots up before each game. I once arrived to a basketball 4days late.


Granted, a late one

. Ray is officially the NBA all time leader in 3-point field-goal attempts made. He surpassed Reggie Millers record on Mach 11 2011, fittingly enough against the Los Angeles Lakers. The game halted when he connected on 3pointer no.6487. He got a big ol' hug and congrats from Kobe and showed his class by strolling over to the commentator table to speak briefly with Mr. Miller (who was commentating.)

Yep, now Ray is in the process of pushing that record further and further out.


Haven't edited this article in quite some while. since we last left off Ray Allen turned his back on the Boston Celtics and went and joined Miami. Playing limited minutes behind Dwayne Wade it kinda feel to me like our boy Rayray done gone huntin for another ring. In a game just last week he broke another 3 point record for most playoff 3's made in a career.

Allen is also apparently in the bad books of one Kevin Garnett. Garnett is possibly the most evil looking NBA player, looking like the Antagonist Sorcerer overlord of a of an old Wesley Snipes movie set in a post-apocalyptic ghetto.

On the bright side this season we have witnessed the rise of someone who shoots as well if not better then ray. Steph Curry broke one of Allen's records by making 272 3 pointers in the regular season.

In Summary

Ray does other stuff too. He's charitable, and starred in Spike Lee's 'He Got Game' alongside Denzel Washington, who is so bad-ass that he could probably get on to an NBA Roster by repeatedly stating that [insert name here, King-Kong, Slobodan Milosevic, Partick Ewing, anyone] ain't got shit on him.

"Chuck Norris ain't got shit on me!"

Ray's character's name was Jesus Shuttlesworth and he was the number 1 ranked high-school basketball prospect in the U.S. Ray even got a bit of praise for his part in the movie, with the horribly unattractive Roger Egbert saying that Ray was, "a rarity; an athlete who can act." Even today when Ray hits a purple patch in-game and starts firing on all cylinders, connecting on shot after shot, fans often yell "PRAISE JESUS". Yep, taking the lords name in vain has never been cooler.

"Yay, my children, look upon me and know me"- Ray Allen

"Yay, Look upon me my children, and know me."