Egg Nog

Ah Eggnog, you were there many Christmases before. And you have ended up vomited on the floor in regretful pain many Christmases before. Such holiday traditions of getting drunk,vomiting and, tricking your children into drinking eggnog.

Pictured here: Child Abuse

Just The Facts

  1. Eggnog isn't one of those products that doesn't relate to the name, you are actually drinking liquid eggs.
  2. Eggnog should only be drunken in dire situations of thirst unless spiked with gratuitous amounts of alcohol, even then its still fucking gross.
  3. Eggnog is regulated and closely watched by the FDA due to risk of salmonella poisoning. (You would think this would stop people from drinking this fucking nasty holiday drink, but it doesn't).
  4. Eggnog is very high in fat (perhaps a reason why its sold only during the holidays, if your going to over-eat anyways why not wash it down with a nice tall glass of fatass?)
  5. Only old people and those with digestive problems drink eggnog; if what described above doesn't sound like it will get your ass in the john I don't know what. (Puking or shitting)

A quick Eggy breakdown.

Studies have shown that 80% of people drink alcohol irregardless of its taste to get drunk.

So frankly who in their right mind would mix two disgusting tasting things together for the same effect?

Borderline alcoholics

And people who hate themselves.