Nirvana

Nirvana was a band in the early nineties, that, according to some sources, created music. It consisted of Kurt Cobain (guitar, vocals, heroin), Krist Novoselic (bass, being a giant) and Dave Grohl (drums, impressive teeth).

It could be said that Nirvana's ultimate goal was to be as fashionable as possible.

Cobain was sometimes less than cooperative during the band's daily grooming sessions.

Just The Facts

  1. You like at least one Nirvana song.
  2. Your parents don't.
  3. The name "Nirvana" came from Kurt's desire for a "beautiful or nice or pretty name," rather than "a mean, raunchy punk name" (And no, that wasn't a joke.)

The Creation of Nirvana

Nirvana was created by Kurt Cobain and Krist (not to be confused with Christ, whom archaeologists are fairly certain was never a bassist) Novoselic in the Washington town of Aberdeen in 1987. The original recording lineup included Chad Channing on drums, whom we assume was kicked out due to sharing a first name with the future drummer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers (This is unconfirmed.) After the album "Bleach" Chad was replaced with the aforementioned Dave Grohl, and the band began its descent into fame and utter madness.

Cobain, melting.

Fame

Chances are that if you exist and have any semblance of ears on you presumably human skull, you have heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and probably several other Nirvana songs. There are few bands more famous, and if you don't know who they are I'm not sure you can read yet.

With smashable guitar!

Utter Madness

Cobain eventually realized that, being a creator of grunge, he must contain at least 300 times as much angst as anyone else. For fun he threw in a bit of insanity as well. As such, he was fond of trying to kill himself, overdosing, dismembering baby dolls, drawing comics about intestines and threatening to destroy Nirvana. He married Courtney Love, the singer of Hole and the most hated rock wife since Yoko Ono, and had a child he named Frances Bean (Naming a child after a flatulence-inducing vegetable is a known sign of psychological trauma.)

Left: Insane. Right: Angsty.

In 1994 Cobain nearly killed himself with prescription drugs and alcohol. He was then sent to a rehabilitation center which he promptly escaped from (there weren't safety precautions in those days; the nineties were a more innocent time.) He somehow managed to board a flight to Seattle without being apprehended, and a week later he was found dead from a shotgun wound to the head. It remains a mystery whether or not the wound was self-inflicted, so it's up to those in the comments section to argue relentlessly about how you just know that Courtney did it.

The face of a killer.

What Nirvana Members Are Doing Today

After the death of Cobain, Krist Novoselic decided to kick grunge in the face by writing a book, becoming a politician and going bald.

What a shame...

The "failed" member...

Dave Grohl continued in a career of being awesome, forming Foo Fighters and various side projects and continuing to maintain his very prominant teeth.

Grohl has been known to eat entire microphones on stage.