Top 3 Songs That Should've Never Existed

Have you ever been listening to a song and thought to yourself "I wonder what the world would be like if this terrible song was never made..." Well, here are the Top 3 to get your mind going.

It's always good to start off a nice, serious article with some lolcats!

Just The Facts

  1. Brittany Spears is awful.
  2. Making a song about pedophilia, is NOT cool. No matter how catchy you make it. You will seem like a total creep ass in the end. It's guaranteed.
  3. Just because your the daughter of a world famous rapper/actor does NOT mean that you can make a song, about anything. Really not something stupid such as "Whipping your Hair, back and fourth."

No. 3 - Britteny Spears - Oops I Did It Again

In January of 2000, in some recording studio, some where, Brittany Spears stood in a booth and sang this song. At the time is was called a "hit" and listened to by masses of people. Now looking back on this song, it is seriously terrible. In the song Brittany pretty much says, Hey, I like messing with your feelings and then completely crushing you and the thought of a chance you had with me. Also just before the last chorus they put in a little dialog that goes something like this....

"All aboard"
"Brittney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

That thing that he gave her, was the heart of the sea. The huge diamond Jack gave to Rose on the Titanic, and that she dropped into the ocean at the very end. Cheesiest thing you could ever possibly put into a song. You can't just, go get it. It doesn't work like that, it's there and it's always going to be. Also, at the end of each chorus the final line is "I'm not that innocent." I believe she's implying that she does this, to everyone, and shes probably doing that to other guys, (or women?!) at the same time. The world would be a slightly better place without this song.

No. 2 - Oingo Boingo - Little Girls

God, where do I start on this creep. The band "Oingo Boingo" was actually a very successful band, with a few rather catchy songs. Such as this one, a song called "Little Girls" which was made because they we're tired of young girls (Under Age) dressing in derogatory and/or revealing clothing. This song was about Pedophilia and it is rather disgusting. Compared to the music we have these days, it actually seems like nothing, but I still think that this song was made while the entire band was highly intoxicated and started with them walking out of a bar and seeing a girl across the street, and one of them pointing out the fact that the girl was attractive, but looked rather young. Then one of them members saying "Dammit, I wish she was older." then another replying with " Wow, let's go record a track about this!" oh! and of course ending with a chorus of "Yeah!" from all the other members around them and any people they could've possibly been with that night. I will admit that the song is extremely catchy, but it really should've just been a joke or something. Not an actual song. Just, a memorial for good times, and bad decisions.

No. 1 - Willow Smith - Whip Yo Hair

"I'm tired of these mutha fuckin snakes, on my mutha fuckin head!"

This one is a lot more recent then the other songs I've chose, so maybe they shouldn't be in the same category, but I don't care! First thing you should do before writing a song, have a good song Idea. (Like Pedophilia?!) Not an idea about "whipping your hair" in any fashion. Willow Smith is the daughter of rapper, and actor Will Smith. (Didn't catch that?) In todays musical famine if you are the child of a famous singer, chances are you can and will be a famous singer such as Willow Smith, Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus's brother, and I'm sure that there is plenty more that I just can't think of right now, because I know there's a lot. I must say, that Willow Smith's hit single "Whip My Hair" is possibly the worst song that I've ever heard in my entire life. The video is slightly interesting, except the fact that it seems like doing anything seen in said video would end in severe head trauma. It's a song, about whipping your hair...back and fourth... That's it... Nobody in the entire world "Whips" their hair, in any way, and they definitely don't make songs about it. I honestly cannot believe that people enjoy this song in any way, every time I hear it I just imagine more stupid young singer controversy.