ever been stuck on what to write? while everyone else has wrote All the best! And congratulations here's some things that you could write to make things more entertaining!
ok so its valentines day! And just by a stroke of luck you just
happen to have the same girlfriend that you had last valentines day
or the previous one before that! You notice that your forever always
writing the same boring stuff on your card like to Carla Love from
Johny. x x x or Love you loads and loads Johny x x x
you decide to make things a little more exciting and humerous so
you add this in the hope that she has a sense of humour
and that you don't recieve a firm bitch slap to the skull.
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: HAPPY
YOUR MESSEGE: I'D HAVE BOUGHT YOU CHOCOLATES BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD DO WITH A DIET!
Ok so your boss (whom has been a complete ass towards you from
day one of your ever struggling career) after years of sucking up to
the much bigger bosses (and he/she would know just how big) has
been promoted. And has announced that while your stuck with the
same crappy job in the same crappy uniform doing the same
crappy stuff in some crappy dump that they call a building he/she
has climbed the ladder and is moving on to a much better
Whilst everyone else chose's to sucker up to said boss with the
typical messeges like "all the best" and "Good luck" . (in the hope
that they will be well remembered and follow the bosses very
footsteps in the near future) you decide to let your feelings be
known. As you see the title on the front of the card you decide to
write the following.....
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: SORRY YOUR LEAVING.....
YOUR MESSEGE: JUST KIDDING!
Its that time again! Yes your loving partner of many years has took
the huff with you! And you don't know what you've done wrong.
All the things that you and say and do don't
seem to change things. So what do you do? A bouqette of flowers
and card come into mind. However giving in and admitting you
were wrong (when in fact she was clearly in the wrong) was never
your kinda thing so this messege in particular comes in handy.....
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: IM SORRY
YOUR MESSEGE: BUT YOUR STILL AN ARSEHOLE!
YES ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN! YOUR STRUGGLING TO
THROUGH TOWN WALKING THOUGH 10INCHES OF INTENSE
SNOW. JUST SO YOUR KIDS CAN HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS!
WITH YOUR BANK ACCOUNT SLOWLY DECREASING YOU
START TO WISH THAT SANTA WAS ACTUALY REAL!
OK SO AFTER YOUR KIDS HAVE BEEN PESTERING YOU FROM
DECEMBER 1 UPWARDS FOR THOSE DAMN EXPENSIVE TOYS
THAT EVERY OTHER KID HAS BEEN GASPING TO HAVE. YOU
START TO LOSE YOU SANITY! (LIKE MOST PARENTS PROB DO
AT THIS TIME OF YEAR) AND WRITE THE FOLLOWING.....
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: HAPPY CHRISTMAS
YOUR MESSEGE: BUT NOT FOR ME I'VE JUST BLOWN A MONTHS WAGES AND GOT MYSELF INTO DEBT JUST TO BUY YOUR BLOODY PRESENTS!
IT'S YOUR UNCLES BIRTHHDAY! NOT ONLY IS HE 40 STONE IN
WEIGHT HAS LESS THAN 40 HAIRS ON HIS HEAD AND IS A
WASTE SIZE 40 (AND SUFFERING A SEVER CASE OF MIDLIFE
CRISIS) BUT HE'S NOW AGED 40 TOO. YOU DECIDE TO ADD TO
HIS SEVER LACK OF SELF ESTEEM BY WRITING THE
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: YOUR 40....
YOURYOUR MESSEGE: BUT YOU LOOK ABOUT 50!
SAD NEW'S ONE OF YOUR WORK MATES HAS JUST DIED... THE FUNERAL GETS HELD ON THE DAY OF HIS BIRTHDAY HE WAS 39....
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES
YOUR MESSEGE: AND THEY SAY LIFE BEGINS AT 40 EH!
YOUR MATES JUST GRADUATED OR MAYBE HE'S GOT THAT PROMOTION HE'S ALWAYS WANTED! YOU DECIDE TO ADD SOME BANTER TO THE CARD.
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: CONGRATULATIONS
YOUR MESSEGE: YOU'VE JUST WON ARSEHOLE OF THE YEAR AWARD!
ITS YOUR GRANDADS BIRTHDAY! AND AFTER ALL THESE
YEARS YOU DISCOVER THAT HIS 1970'S STYLE SIDE SHED IS
ACTUALLY WIG! THE FOLLOWING MESSEGE COMES TO MIND.....
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: YOUR 50
YOUR MESSEGE: AND YOUR SO BALD YOU MAKE A BABYS ARSE LOOK HAIRY.
YOUR MATES WEDDING DAY YOUR THE BEST MAN. AND HE'S
MARRYING PAMELA ANDERSON! OR AT LEAST HER STUNT
DOUBLE. HERES WHAT YOU WRITE.
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
YOUR MESSEGE: IM GONNA STARE AT YOUR WIFE'S TITS
OK SO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS WORKING HARD ABROAD YOU DECIDE TO SEND HER A LITTLE CARD TO REMIND HER YOU STILL EXIST.
FRONT OF CARD TITLE: THINKING OF YOU.....
YOUR MESSEGE: WHILE JERKING OFF IN THE BATHROOM!