TOP 10 FUNNY THINGS THAT WE'D LOVE TO WRITE IN A GREETINGS CARD BUT NEVER DO.........

ever been stuck on what to write? while everyone else has wrote All the best! And congratulations here's some things that you could write to make things more entertaining!&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf

Just The Facts

  1. did you know that a birthday card is sent and or recieved EVERY SINGLE DAY!
  2. Valentines day is the 2nd largest holiday in which the most cards are sent
  3. at least about 99 out of 100 cards end up in the bin the following week after recieving them.

10: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! (for your wife)

ok so its valentines day! And just by a stroke of luck you just

happen to have the same girlfriend that you had last valentines day

or the previous one before that! You notice that your forever always

writing the same boring stuff on your card like to Carla Love from

Johny. x x x or Love you loads and loads Johny x x x

you decide to make things a little more exciting and humerous so

you add this in the hope that she has a sense of humour

and that you don't recieve a firm bitch slap to the skull.

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: HAPPY

YOUR MESSEGE: I'D HAVE BOUGHT YOU CHOCOLATES BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD DO WITH A DIET!

VALENTINES DAY!

9: SORRY YOUR LEAVING..........(for your bad bastard boss thats moving on to pastures new)

Ok so your boss (whom has been a complete ass towards you from

day one of your ever struggling career) after years of sucking up to

the much bigger bosses (and he/she would know just how big) has

been promoted. And has announced that while your stuck with the

same crappy job in the same crappy uniform doing the same

crappy stuff in some crappy dump that they call a building he/she

has climbed the ladder and is moving on to a much better

workplace!

Whilst everyone else chose's to sucker up to said boss with the

typical messeges like "all the best" and "Good luck" . (in the hope

that they will be well remembered and follow the bosses very

footsteps in the near future) you decide to let your feelings be

known. As you see the title on the front of the card you decide to

write the following.....

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: SORRY YOUR LEAVING.....

YOUR MESSEGE: JUST KIDDING!

8: IM SORRY (for your partner after a nasty argument)

Its that time again! Yes your loving partner of many years has took

the huff with you! And you don't know what you've done wrong.

All the things that you and say and do don't

seem to change things. So what do you do? A bouqette of flowers

and card come into mind. However giving in and admitting you

were wrong (when in fact she was clearly in the wrong) was never

your kinda thing so this messege in particular comes in handy.....

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: IM SORRY

YOUR MESSEGE: BUT YOUR STILL AN ARSEHOLE!

7: HAPPY CHRISTMAS! (for your spoilt kids)

YES ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN! YOUR STRUGGLING TO

THROUGH TOWN WALKING THOUGH 10INCHES OF INTENSE

SNOW. JUST SO YOUR KIDS CAN HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS!

WITH YOUR BANK ACCOUNT SLOWLY DECREASING YOU

START TO WISH THAT SANTA WAS ACTUALY REAL!

OK SO AFTER YOUR KIDS HAVE BEEN PESTERING YOU FROM

DECEMBER 1 UPWARDS FOR THOSE DAMN EXPENSIVE TOYS

THAT EVERY OTHER KID HAS BEEN GASPING TO HAVE. YOU

START TO LOSE YOU SANITY! (LIKE MOST PARENTS PROB DO

AT THIS TIME OF YEAR) AND WRITE THE FOLLOWING.....

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: HAPPY CHRISTMAS

YOUR MESSEGE: BUT NOT FOR ME I'VE JUST BLOWN A MONTHS WAGES AND GOT MYSELF INTO DEBT JUST TO BUY YOUR BLOODY PRESENTS!

6: YOUR 40....(for your uncle'Mum'Aunt etc)

IT'S YOUR UNCLES BIRTHHDAY! NOT ONLY IS HE 40 STONE IN

WEIGHT HAS LESS THAN 40 HAIRS ON HIS HEAD AND IS A

WASTE SIZE 40 (AND SUFFERING A SEVER CASE OF MIDLIFE

CRISIS) BUT HE'S NOW AGED 40 TOO. YOU DECIDE TO ADD TO

HIS SEVER LACK OF SELF ESTEEM BY WRITING THE

FOLLOWING.

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: YOUR 40....

YOURYOUR MESSEGE: BUT YOU LOOK ABOUT 50!

5: MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES (for the widow that he/she left behind)

SAD NEW'S ONE OF YOUR WORK MATES HAS JUST DIED... THE FUNERAL GETS HELD ON THE DAY OF HIS BIRTHDAY HE WAS 39....

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES

YOUR MESSEGE: AND THEY SAY LIFE BEGINS AT 40 EH!

4: CONGRATULATIONS!

YOUR MATES JUST GRADUATED OR MAYBE HE'S GOT THAT PROMOTION HE'S ALWAYS WANTED! YOU DECIDE TO ADD SOME BANTER TO THE CARD.

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: CONGRATULATIONS

YOUR MESSEGE: YOU'VE JUST WON ARSEHOLE OF THE YEAR AWARD!

3: YOUR 50

ITS YOUR GRANDADS BIRTHDAY! AND AFTER ALL THESE

YEARS YOU DISCOVER THAT HIS 1970'S STYLE SIDE SHED IS

ACTUALLY WIG! THE FOLLOWING MESSEGE COMES TO MIND.....

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: YOUR 50

YOUR MESSEGE: AND YOUR SO BALD YOU MAKE A BABYS ARSE LOOK HAIRY.

2: ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

YOUR MATES WEDDING DAY YOUR THE BEST MAN. AND HE'S

MARRYING PAMELA ANDERSON! OR AT LEAST HER STUNT

DOUBLE. HERES WHAT YOU WRITE.

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

YOUR MESSEGE: IM GONNA STARE AT YOUR WIFE'S TITS

1: THINKING OF YOU (for that long distance relationship)

OK SO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS WORKING HARD ABROAD YOU DECIDE TO SEND HER A LITTLE CARD TO REMIND HER YOU STILL EXIST.

FRONT OF CARD TITLE: THINKING OF YOU.....

YOUR MESSEGE: WHILE JERKING OFF IN THE BATHROOM!