Red Bull

The energy drink that started it all, and the reason thousands of college students can stay up all night and still make it to school in the morning.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1||navi

Red Bull gave her wings

What other drink comes with private jets and stewardesses?

Just The Facts

  1. Red Bull is an energy drink manufactured by Red Bull GmbH, an Austrian Company.
  2. A can of Red Bull has more caffiene in it than one Starbuck's Expresso
  3. Is a disturbing shade of yellow that will make anyone drinking it wonder just what part of the bull they actually used
  4. Drinking 125 cans of Red Bull can be fatal. But who the hell would drink that many?

Cracked on Red Bull

Carbonated, cafinated and loaded with cool sounding ingredients like Taurine and Glucuronolactone, Red Bull hit the US market in 1997 and never looked back.  Based on a Thai product called "Krating Daeng" which amazingly means "Red Bull" in Thai, the future owners of  Red Bull GmbH took five years to rework the formula before introducing the new and improved version to Austria. Did we mention that the new version is LESS sweet tasting than the Thai formula?  It makes our teeth hurt just thinking about it.

Thai Red Bull

Krating Daeng, they didn't even change the logo.

Experts quibble on whether any of the ingredients besides caffiene actually help with energy or mental clarity, but while they argue  folks all over the world are paying hard coin to get to guzzle this strangely flavoured brew, many of them daring to defy the warning on the label and mixing it with alcohol in a quest to get both buzzed and blitzed simultaneously.  the Jägerbomb is one of the most popular of these, made by dropping a shotglass of Jägermeister into a glass of Red Bull.

jaegerbomb

Jägerbombs - When you gotta get her drunk fast

 

According to the company that makes it,  Red Bull is "berry flavoured".  We admit that most of the fruit Cracked writers consume comes in the bottom of our tropical rum drink, but it certainly doesn't taste like any berry we've ever come across.

 As well as being stuff full of cafinated goodness, Red Bull is loaded with sugar. For more on why you should be drinking the sugar free Red Bull, read Malcolm Christiansen's  6 Of Your Favorte Things That Are Secretly Making You Fat.

 Sugarfree Red Bull

Seriously, no more sugar for you

 

Red Bull - The Mythology

Red Bull

 

When anything becomes popular, there are sure to be any number of stupid rumours swirling around the internet about it.  Red Bull is no exception.

Brain Tumors:

You can read up on why Red Bull doesn't give you brain tumours in Cracked's article 7 Retarded Food Myths the Internet Thinks Are True

Bull's Balls:

No doubt inspired by the name and the logo, some imaginative genius began informing anyone who would listen that this energy drink was laced with bovine semen and testicle bits. Though it is true Taurine is contained in both substances, we have been assured that the source of Red Bull's taurine is brewed up by a chemist and is nothing that occurs in nature.  Given the choice, the bull bits seems safer than the mad scientist, but what do we know.

Drug Testing:

 Another rumor we dug up involves Red Bull screwing up your drug tests.  Drink just half a can of this elixir and you'll end up testing positive on your next drug screening. Now,  we're not scientificator types, but we're pretty sure that if they are testing you for drugs, then Red Bull would have to actually contain a narcotic in order for it to test positive.  Oh.. shit.  It does. Cocaine.

Not appearing on the list of ingredients,  some batches of Red Bull Cola imported from Austria tested positive for cocaine on June 2, 2009.  Reading a mere 0.1 to 0.3 micrograms per litre, it was enough to get the drink banned in Germany.

 

 

Red Bull Girls

What's better than pretty girls in skimpy uniforms?  Pretty girls in skimpy uniforms handing out free samples. Red Bull figured out this tricky bit of male psychology, and now Red Bull Girls show up at all sorts of events. They are offten driving themed vehicles and are always well supplied with free samples in their on going mission to turn you into a Red Bull fan.

 

Red Bull Girls

Why didn't Coke think of this?

 

Red Bull Truck

 Babes + Truck + Free Stuff = more sales

 

 

Red Bull Sporting Events

Like every big corporation, Red Bull has figured out that sponsorship is a fancy way of saying "more advertising".  With that in mind, they've invested in a number of sporting events.

 

Wake Boarding

We're not sure why, but the folks at Red Bull went and created a portable "Wake Lab" which they claim was "Created as an experiment to see how far the boundaries of the sport of wakeboarding could be pushed".  Basically a giant floating skateboard park rigged with an elevated pool and a revolutionary pulley system to tow athletes back and forth across the lab, skipping over that whole "we need a boat" element of the sport.

 Red Bull Wake Boarding Lab

 

Air Races

What better to go with the whole  "Red Bull gives you wings" slogan than something with wings?  And thus was created the Red Bull Air Race.

 

Soap Box Derby

Our final mention in this category?  The Red Bull Soap Box Derby.  Where people get hyped on the energy drink and then hop in homemade contraptions and hurtle down a hill, often wearing inexplicable costumes and generally acting like Trekkies on a field trip from the nearest 'Con'.

 Red Bull Derby

 

Red Bull 'Art of Can'

For those with more refined sensibilities,  Red Bull also has an art competition, where the main rule is that the piece has to be composed primarily of, you guessed it, Red Bull cans.  Some of the entries have taken recycling to a whole new level, leading us to believe that 1)  Some people have WAY too much time on their hands and 2) These people must drink an obscene amount of Red Bull to get that many cans together.

 

Red Bull Dragon

We suspect this one was inspired by an hallucination after the artist downed his 124th Red Bull

 

Red Bull Bird

 

 

Red Bull Jet Fighter