90s Movies

The 90s was a fascinating decade, defined by Generation X's urge to rage against nearly everything and absolutely nothing simultaneously. Twas also the decade that Hollywood realised they could make movies, void of plotlines, that were still awesome.

Watching a movie in the 90's meant you were likely to see realistic hacking!

F.B.I Agents left, right and center.

... Unfortunately there was also a good chance the movie would include Pauly Shore.

Just The Facts

  1. 90's movies have a very distinct style and look. Easily identifiable by anyone with the power of sight.
  2. Many of today's most famous actors have at some point appeared in a 90's movie.
  3. Cinematic adaptations of Tv shows were considerably more neccessary and tasteful.
  4. (#3 Contrast to Yogi Bear 3-D, Scooby-Doo, Bewitch'd)
  5. Actors who missed out on starring in a 90's movie during the 90's are not at a total loss as there are still about 2-3 90's movies made every year.

General Tone

The general feel of 90s movies alternated between two specific styles and never once varied for the duration of the entire decade. These were:

1) Lovable Slackers (usually a duo, prone to zany mishaps, most probably stoners) hanging/spacing/rocking out, partaking in mischief, sharing dislike for their workplace and pondering the origins of the universe all while trying to get rich/laid. Oh, and occasionally beating the Grim Reaper at battleships after being murdered by evil robot versions of themselves.

2) An inescapably badass (yet somehow relatable to all nerds) hero uncovers and stops a sinister plot/ evades apprehension by the bungling law enforcement (and just about every single other bungling person in the country).-These two can both be achieved by a carefully concocted blend of car chases, smoking cigarettes, bugging phones (or blocking bugged phones with empty packets of Cheetos), hacking UFO computer systems, looking cool and saying 'Yippee Ki Yay Motherfucker' before explosions.

Either way the government was usually portrayed as the seedy faceless villain* that we could all conspire against. Yep, during the 90's the depiction of the U.S. Government in the media took kind of a water-boarding.

*Notable exception: The Cigarette Smoking Man - The greatest anti-villain ever created. Ever.

As a boy, I would have gladly killed for this action figure.

As a young boy I would have gladly killed for this action figure.

10 Signs you might be stuck in a 90's movie

1) Abundence of skateboards.

2) State of the art cell phones just look like regular cordless telephones.

3) People are actually using the word 'radical.'

4) The Simpsons is still making you laugh.

5) Teenagers never mention Ecstasy despite it being a massively popular party drug.

6) Obscure grunge music perpetually accompanies everyday life.

7) Men are legitimately wearing this hair-style:

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8) Arnold Schwarzenegger has never heard of the Government.

9) Inserting cartoon sound effects into a Batman movie is forgivable.

10) Any member of the 'Saved by the Bell' cast still have high hopes for their careers.

Association With Intoxication

Recently, when prompted to conduct a review of the subject in question, the International Board of Old Rich White Men Criticizing Things We Don't Understand (IBORWMCTWDU) announced that the 90's was without doubt the decade in which mind altering substances were paramount to the enjoyment & understanding of it's movies.

Patrons of the International board...

However, fanboys globally (Senegalese & Eritrean fanboys in particular) have disputed this label, responding that 'every decade produces movies that are clearly not intended to be viewed sober. The 80's brought us Tron, The 10's brought us Tron: Legacy and The 00's brought us Ice Cube in 'Are We Done Yet?'

.

'Yeah the Matrix is pretty cool, but this'll really make you question your perception of reality.'

"Yeah the Matrix is pretty cool, but this movie will really make you question your perception of reality."

Tv-to-Movie Adaptations

As I touched on earlier, the 90's was a significant decade for the film industry as developments in SFX technology made it possible to dramatically portray originally restrained stories on an exciting cinematic level; whilst all the great ideas had not yet been rinsed and regurgetated.

Notable examples of this are:

Wayne's World

Originally titled: Sorry Garth, this ride to comedic fame and critical acclaim only seats one.

The X -Files: Fight the Future

Originally titled: Only X-Files movie intended to be in any way relevant to the Myth-Arc.

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

Originally titled: Pure genius wrapped in something that looks nothing like pure genius.

Beavis & Butthead do America

Originally titled: TP for my Bunghole!: The Cornholio Chronicles.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

Originally titled: Why not to feel sorry for Leland Palmer.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie

Originally titled: This Island Earth

Mission: Impossible

Originally titled: Huh? Why would you think he's gay?

The Fugitive

Originally titled: Han Solo didn't kill his wife!

A Night at the Roxbury

Well, they couldn't all be good ideas...