Death Penalty

The death penalty (insert doom music of your choice) is something that is full of controversy. Some fear it, some feared it, and some are just thankful it doesn’t exist in every country.&&(navigator.

ole' sparky says

Yum!

Just The Facts

  1. It will kill you.
  2. The death penalty has been abolished in more than two thirds of the world's countries 139 to be exact.
  3. In 2008 93% of all known executions took place in 5 countries - China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and the USA.

The death penalty has been around as long as the self righteous prick

the death penalty has existed since the dawn of intelligence. It was even mentioned in the bible, in the form of being stoned to death. but not the good kind, the kind of stoning where they surrounded you and threw rocks at your body until you either A) ended up with severe brain trauma and died or B) were suffocated by the sheer weight of the rocks crushing your body and died or C) you just plain died.

Everything's better under da' sea

The fine art of murder

over the millenia we being the "civilized" people that we are have evolved the death penalty from stoning to hanging to being burned at the stake to the electric chair to the firing squad but not necessarily in that order.

so to clarify we've gone from having lots of people kill one person to one person killing another to lots of people killing one person back to one on one back to lots of people killing one person.

Is anyone else noticing a pattern?

It's time for: "how do you want to die?" *cheesey gameshow theme plays*

Hanging

Hanging was popular as recently as the nineteen sixties in many parts of the world. Why? because it was simple. the executioner's handbook for the times probably went something like this : "step one: make a noose. Step two: insert criminal's head. Step three: walk them up to gallows. Step four: drop the floor out from under them. Step five: point and laugh as they die.

would you like to buy a vowel?

did I mention hanging was effective as well? because in it's early days a hanging would literally rip the victim's spine away from their body. but hey, that's why practice makes perfect.

Beheading

Beheading is where a guy in a hood chops off your head with a huge-ass axe. It was popular in the middle ages (Marry, Queen of Scots is one famous example) beheading is my personal favourite, because well just look at the picture

Just look at the size of that axe thing! 'nuff said

Gas chamber

The gas chamber was Germany's execution technique of choice circa World War Two. The most commonly used gas is hydrogen cyanide but other gases such as carbon dioxide you know, the stuff that comes out of your car exhaust, has also been used.

effectively making this the deadliest thing on the planet

Electric chair

The electric chair wasn't around until 1890 but was made famous in the movie adaption of Stephen King's book The Green Mile. you know the one with Tom Hanks and that huge black guy that had like super powers...? no idea what I'm talking about? then just read the damn book!

the original old sparky

Current Events

Today the death penalty is (supposedly) far more humane than it was even a century ago but I think It would have been way more awesome to be guiotined and having my head surrvive for minutes without a body, then to be injected with a poison cocktail, I mean It'd give you an awesome conversation starter in the afterlife.

and here's a special slice of information that will give all you homicidial sociopaths in the states some relief: The death penalty has been put on pause partially because it was killing too many (innocent) people. Oh, the irony.

The End

You die.

I die.

one day we all will die.

so the death penalty just speeds things up a bit.

THE END

It's either this or....

Or this...