Lawns
You can learn a lot about your neighbors from their lawn.
Reading Your Neighbor's Lawn
Your lawn is the public face of your home, a chance to show off your interior decorating skills on the outside of your home. If nothing else, it shows everyone on your street that you can care for a complex, temperamental living organism.
The home of a responsible family... or a lazy gay couple.
Or, you can show them just how far you're will to let yourself go, clutter it with more plastic figurines than a spoiled rich kid's play room, and generally let your freak flag fly.
While the let yourself go option might sound easier, that's only because you're not using your imagination. Specifically, the crazy part of your imagination.
Because where else is the house plant going to sit?
"Because WHERE ELSE is the house plant going to sit?"
Replyf*****g Gold!
I love the perfectionist lawn, but I would love to see the Plastic Flamingo infested lawn.
ReplyThat's so sad; I used to have a little white bike with blue wheels, but ti was alsoOH MY GOD IT'S UNDER THE SWINGSET!
ReplyHoly sh*tttt I want those bikes.
Replyi love bikes.
ReplyI feel like this ended abruptly.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI totally agr
I literally only saw this comment when I was looking for a link to page 2.
i know f**k this article!
lmao at the steals bikes from children
ReplyI always thought that lots of signs meant you aren't certain who to vote for but you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either.
ReplyI'm pretty sure it's illegal in my town to put up those signs. Thank goodness.
Actually it just means that I was in the neighborhood.I like to gather up the signs from people's yards then stick all of them in one yard to make that guy look confused.
I was just reading a summary of the movie "The Lawnmower Man" then I go to Cracked and see this on the front page...freaking out.
ReplyThe picture of the lawn signs is from my state. SIGH.
ReplyWhat does one of those blackface lawn jockeys say about a neighbor?
ReplyHello? Plastic flamingos ring any bells with you people? I think they deserve their own article.....plastic flamingo people have their own subculture and we are cool, like Key West, not weird or fat, like gnome people......and NEVER confuse us with lawn boy people! NEVER!
ReplyI think he made a clear hint to the plastic flamingo's when he said lazy gay couple.
Yea, I'm rocking a #4.Cause I do have ps3, that do instead. Outdoors is soooooo overrated!!
Reply"I steal bikes from children." Lawlz Funniest part about this.
ReplyMy lawn is short and free of garbage, but it's yellowish and has weeds. I guess it says I do the bare minumim. Which is totally true.
Replyyellow is a color too!
if it occurs naturally, that's best!
My lawn says that my HOA fees are way too high.
ReplyHOA - because why *wouldn't* you pay someone to tell you what you can or cannot do with your own property?
because he liked the house, and he thought HOA isn't that bad, he's got a community pool, that's cool... at the time... now, you see how a few jerks can ban holiday lights and having chairs and a BBQ on your porch... and they keep trying to trim the tree that blocks the view of inside your bathroom... pervert HOA!
Holy damn, I'm all five. *takes breath* I have a pile of bikes in the backyard that I take from horrible babykids(hate those things), my lawn is always brown but the weeds seem to grow amazingly, I decorate the yard with a handful of phonebooks and dog turds, and I get yelled at by the illegals by not having anything worth stealing. Oh and the politiciansignthingies.. I usually just stomp on those even if they aren't in my yard. By the way, Dick Smothers is a real person, HOW ABOUT LAY THE FKK OFF?!
ReplyOur lawn is mostly dead but damnit we don't live in the UK where lawns are green and pretty naturally. At least I guess we're not proud of it, we don't pretend we're being eco friendly by not watering it regularly. We hang our heads in shame when the one guy on our street with the perfect lawn walks by.
ReplySo the psychopath is the least delusional of them?
Replywhy wouldn't he be? crazy is usually the most honest type of person you will ever see because they tend to shut down their social filters to let the babble fly.
YES IT IS!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! o,O
Lawns do not exist where I'm from. We do not need to show off using a patch of dirt and grass. We show of using our woman and the amount of beer one can drink before passing out.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliessounds like your house is on blocks
bahaha kyvolt you always crack me up
Sounds like the good life.
Kyvolt - you are hilarious. But if his house is on blocks of cement, then I'd figure he does have a beautiful green lawn... that's made out of plastic...