Male Emotions

Like the appendix, male emotions are but a vestigial remnant of a once helpful system. In the years since the development of critical thinking and logical reasoning, the male emotional system has waned to the point of dysfunction.

ME ANNGRYYYYY, and....   sleepy, and ....frustrated?  ROARRRRR! ME CONFUSED!

Go take a rage dump, mon.

Just The Facts

  1. Contrary to what women may try to tell you, by male standards "lazy" and "horny" are both emotions. Two of the strongest, actualy.
  2. Emotions have been hindering the growth and progress of humanity since the invention of the "we have to talk" talk.
  3. Building a functional humanoid robot that also has human emotions would be like building a stately mansion with an intentionaly backed up septic system.

Your Useless Emotions..... From the Past!

Male emotions are a throwback to primitive times, when human males depended upon emotions like hunger, fear and boners to help guide them in their day to day lives. Man didn't fully understand his surroundings. He couldn't reason through complex problems like "why did that musk ox just gore my brother" and relied on his instincts and intuitions to keep him alive, fed, and a safe distance away from any angry oxen, musk or otherwise. Presumably our forerunners cave-emotions also helped them score with the cave-ladies of the day.

....or maybe they didn't

Or maybe they didn't.

Male Emotion in the Modern World

These days, while hunger, fear, and boners remain undoubtedly important, if modern man relies on them solely to steer is actions he will soon be enjoying a stint in prison. With the dawning of this realization, men were gifted the dual presents of emotional repression and the vacant stare, which most men have practiced to the point of mastery. Coincidentally, this stoicism may be the only reason that humanity hasn't devolved into an all day episode of "Cops", or a giant Italy (they're supposed to be emotional, right? Do I have my stereotypes lined out properly?). Or a giant, all day episode of "Italian Cops". Or an all-Italy episode of "Giant Cops". ........Uh, forget that last one. I'll never find an image for "giant italian cops".

Google, how do you do it?

The next time you're accused of being cold or emotionless, just explain (calmly) that you're doing your part to help keep the world from devolving into the massive, boner fueled fist-a-cuffs that it inevitably would become if we all didn't do our part and repress our emotional selves into oblivion.