Costumes for Kids

Children's costumes have been the bane of parents' existence for years. Let's see what 'appropriate' costumes stores have been mass producing for the little ones.

Halloween Shmalloween.

Just The Facts

  1. If someone asked me to define 'commercial holliday', I would say 'Halloween'.
  2. Kids are midgets.
  3. Most kiddie costumes are racist, sexist and hilarious.

Racist Children's Costumes.


That's right. Not 'Native American', and certainly not politically correct. Look at that white kid in a cheap, shitty, "Indian" costume and tell me his parents didn't say, "Oh boy, Timmy! A SAVAGE costume with a real little hatchet-thing!".

This costume might not be racist in your opinion, if your opinion is wrong or you're over 30. Observe the little white girl in a cheap, itchy version of a Geisha outfit. Then look at her makeup. People will not be thinking, "Oh, look at that little girl's Geisha costume."
They will be thinking
"Look at that kid's azn costume." Exactly.

Sure, it's cute, but is it politically correct and updated? Need I say more?

Sexist Children's Costumes. (Which is 99.9% of them)

What twelve year old girl wants to go out for halloween as a french maid? Obviously this is just a sexist janitor costume.

I have yet to see a male child nurse outfit. POINT PROVEN.

Hilarious Chrildren's Costumes.


When Pedobear goes on vacation they hire a substitute.

I'll have some Asian baby on a kaiser with cheese and lettuce, kthx.

OHOHOHOHO. This is so warped there should be an article for it all on its own.