Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson was an influential recording artist, entertainer and family man. He passed away on June 25, 2009. It's probably far too soon to make fun of him without getting an uproar of comments, but fuck it.
Just The Facts
- He got his start as a child singing for the Jackson 5. Michael is the only one you have ever heard of.
- Lived the majority of his life at his home/amusement park at Neverland Ranch. Complete with a zoo, ferris wheel and roller coaster, it was every 8-year old boys wet dream. Exactly.
- The King of Pop will most likely put Elvis to shame, considering he's already made $20 million in record sales since his death. Way to milk it for all it's worth.
Rising Star
Jackson's hit album Thriller was the top-selling album of all-time, a title it still holds to this day. In addition, he had 13 number-one hits, recieved 13 Grammy Awards, and sold over 750 million albums worldwide.
Wacko Jacko wowed audiences with his freaky dance moves, popularizing the Robot and the Moonwalk, ensuring white boys everywhere would try and emulate his style (until YMCA came out, that is).
The Death of a King
Following his death, the majority of the public seems to consider him on the level with a hometown war hero, rather than the boy-hungry elf-man he (allegedly) was. Americans (nay, the world) are in shock following his unexpected death, calling it a "tragedy" and "kind've like when JKF got assasinated". Even more shocking, at least 12 people have committed suicide in their grief over losing poor MJ. Lost among the throng of news articles about the death of an old washed up pop singer are several stories that might actually matter in the long run. (Seriously?)
Though he left behind more than $500 million dollars in debt (holyfuckingshitwhat?) it's likely that his heirs will do just fine, thanks in part to Paul McCartney being a total cheapass.
Don't poke fun at people who have passed on. That's just taking cheap shots, because they can't call you out on it.
ReplyP.S. He HATED the nickname "Wacko Jacko."
Reply"I'm not Jacko, I'm Jackson. (…) Wacko Jacko, where does that come from? Some English tabloid. I have a heart and I have feelings; I feel that when you do that to me. It's not nice; don't do it. I'm not a wacko."
-Michael Jackson
He had problems, but he also had a good heart, extraordinary talent, and an amazing spirit.
ReplyTheRunningMan has it. Sure, he was off, but he left a hell of an impact in popular culture and was, all in all, a good guy.
Replywas he weird? definitely
Replywas he guilty? no
I thought the article was funny. Could be funnier but hey oh well...
ReplyThere are funnier jokes about Michael Jackson at http://ihavenolifeoutsideofspammingthisblog.net. As MarginWalker pointed out, it's mainly shock schlmlock value.
ReplyAgreed with MarginWalker, 'Michael Jackson pedophile' jokes lost their funny and originality in maybe 8th grade? Not to sound like a fanboy, but from a legal standpoint theres no evidence the guy actually did that stuff. This article is not only beating a dead horse but shoving dynamite up its ass and detonating it at a petroleum refinery.
ReplyYou have to have more than shock value (if it's even shocking to make fun of Michael Jackson) to be funny. This article is like a preteen trying to be Jon Stewart, and the videos are even more retarded than Wayan's Bros movies.
Reply