Hardee's

Hardee's is an American restaurant chain so inappropriate it makes a vomitorium seem sensible. The only way to make a Hardee's location more decadent would be to have a solid titanium location in the grotto of the Playboy Mansion. Proof follows.

Just The Facts

  1. Hardee's is brazen about their excess. When questioned about the Monster Thickburger, the CEO of Hardee's, Andrew Pudzer, claimed it was "not a burger for tree-huggers".
  2. Like anything else no one has ever regretted, early controlling share of the Hardee's company was lost in a card game.
  3. Hardee's earned its scarlet letters for things such as its "More Than a Piece of Meat" and "Name Our Holes" ad campaigns.

Brother-At-Arms

Hardee's has a "sibling" company named Carl's Jr., whose heritage to the world also involves embarrassing physiques and cardiac issues. One can only imagine the "parent" company whose cycle of abuse created the coast-to-coast availability of a fish-and-chips basket with 80 grams of fat. I don't know much -- but it's not their fault.

Solemn Research

While researching for this article, I gave Hardee's the benefit of the doubt. I said to myself "Hardee's, as anyone else, operates in the physical world whereupon only x amount of fat can go into y amount of space." This statement reveals how terrifyingly naive I am. The "char-broiled burgers" average 597 calories, 44 grams of fat, and 15 grams of saturated fat. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Preying On The Elderly

Hardee's, in 1996, was sued by America's sweetheart Wilford Brimley. Brimely claimed the chain unlawfully used his likeness in 17 television commercials. Hardee's settled out of court and the settlement check was delivered to Brimley at little or no cost to him.