Crack is the freebase (smokable) form of the drug Cocaine. Its effects include stimulation and extreme euphoria, but are extremely short lived. Thus, it is one of the most psychologically addictive drugs known to mankind.

This is Mr. Grumpy Face. He's trying to turn into Mr. Happy Face.

Despite its bad reputation, Crack does have many celebrity endorsers.

Just The Facts

  1. Crack is extremely addictive, and fairly dangerous
  2. You should not do Crack
  3. Oh my god, I love Crack so much

Crack and Cracked

Crack and Cracked have a long history together. In fact, many of us Cracked writers gain inspiration and energy from Crack [Disclaimer: Just kidding, DEA]. This will likely come as a surprise to you readers, but the name "Cracked" actually includes the word "Crack" in it. After much deliberation, we decided that the best way to assure that nobody ever draws the connection between Cracked and Crack was to be as open and forward about it as possible. Also, to wear tinfoil hats.

Mr. Kitty and I are very handsome.

Crack and You

Crack is an extremely addictive drug. It induces a state of euphoria for about five minutes, and then causes intense cravings for more crack. In fact, several university studies have concluded that Crack can be categorized as "Whack". It is not recommended that you try Crack, unless you are already planning to sell your computer, house, X-Box, shoes, soul, and body.

(If you are planning to sell your body, this is the type of customer you'll be looking for.)

If you are planning to sell your body, this is the type of customer you'll be looking for.

However, if you are interested in trying Crack...

How can I find some Crack?

If you don't know anyone who sells Crack, the best way to find Crack is to ask People of Ethnic Diversity.

They can beat people up for you, too.

People of Ethnic Diversity come from many different cultural, geographical, economic, and social backgrounds. For this reason, they engage in a variety of personal and business activities with which you may not be familiar. One of those personal activities is smoking Crack, and one of those business activities is selling Crack. If you come across a person of a different ethnicity from you who is stumbling around muttering something like "Crack rocks, Crack rocks" or "Crack Cocaine, Crack Cocaine", this person may be a good bet. Other phrases, such as "Chiva, Chiva", "OC's, OC's", "Whachoo need?" or "mmndglfAAAAARGHnghehehehe", may also indicate that this person will be willing to sell you Crack, or at least help you find it.