Portmanbros

A portmanteau is a simple grammatic concept of splicing together two words to form a new word. A portmanbro uses the same concept except the final test is that you sound like the epitome of douchebaggary when the abomination rolls off your tongue.

Just The Facts

  1. A portmanbro must be usable whilst drunk.
  2. It cannot make you sound like a fag to another bro.
  3. If it makes hipsters the world over cringe with seething bohemian rage, you have succeeded.

Bromance

A bromance is one of the most beautiful things two bros can share. It usually pertains to a awkwardly close relationship between two dudes that borderlines on bromosexuality.

Bromance bordering on bromoeroticism.

Pictured: Bromoeroticism

Although by definition a bromance must be between two bros, the greatest bromance ever told occurred between a bro and a woman-bro. Pictured below.

Trust me, Nobody cries at the end of this one.


Brosidon Lord of the Brocean

It is a well known fact that the lord of the brocean is a master of beer pong. How any bro ever managed to use this portmanbro in a coherent sentence is well beyond me.

Laying down the bronage!

Laying down the bronage!

Brosef

This term was obviously coined during the brolshevik revolution when the current HBIC (head bro in charge) was Brosef Stalin, it has since then been used to refer to bros that are total party nazis.

Fighting for the brolotariat

Champion of the broletariat.

But its not like the communists were strangers to getting down anyhow...

The Communist Party!

Teddy Broosovelt

Although Cracked as officially dubbed Teddy Roosevelt, a certifiable badass of the highest magnitude. It is a little known fact that he has a douchebag alter ego. Teddy Broosevelt is a the patron saint of bros far and wide. For a man who started his morning, tearing off a bear's hands with his bear hands, it shouldn't surprise you, that these could only be the antics of a man who could put down more shots, then the entire cast of Jersey Shore, in a matter of minutes.

Bro my God! MAKE IT STOP!

Well I imagine at this point you have been brotally exhausted by this inbroherent bronsense, so I will spare your eyes from having to endure another portmanbro.

[Disclaimer: Any information provided in this article about the creation of portmanbros is entirely informational and should, under no circumstances, be used to create and verbalize. Anybody that utters one of these verbal monstrosities, risks getting a well deserved kick in the genitals from any non-retarded person within earshot. You have been warned]