Celebrities love causes. Causes love celebrities. This can be a match made in heaven - or in hell.
Is it day time or late night? Turn on the TV. It's OK, you have no need to actually watch it, it is just to prove a point.. Channel surf until you find a talk show. You'll find some celeb chatting away to a grinning host in a cheap suit, pushing their latest project.
Or cheap tent in some cases...
But, because just pushing your newest stuff is crass, and very much akin to prostitution, all celebs have a Cause. Yes, with a capital C. Something they can discuss semi intelligently (or not, depending on the celeb) to fill in the gaps in the conversation. The Cause can be a charity, an ideology or even a religion.
Just admit it ... you expected Tom Cruise here.
But what about the causes? Don't they get upset at being hijacked by some actor or singer? Don't be fucking stupid! They love it! Every time some random celebrity talks about them, they coin in the cash. Which, if celebrities on chat shows are whoring themselves out, makes these causes pimps.
The American Cancer Association's new uniform.
Some celebs and causes go together like coke and hookers. Just by looking at them, you know what cause they espouse, and exactly how fervently.
Other pairings, though, are slightly less fortunate for either side. Either the celeb brings their cause into disrepute, or the cause is so nutty that you can never take the person seiously again.
Don't get us wrong. Supporting charities, research foundations, and world initiatives is totally admirable behaviour. We even do it in a small way here ourselves. Donate now, or Swaim gets it.