WARNING: Marijuana Is Illegal. This Includes Buying, Possessing And Smoking. Don’t Do It...Unless You Post Your Highdeas On The Internet.
So you just finished blazin' up a J with Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering and that's when it hits you like a sack of awkward, angelic potatoes from the sky: Why the hell doesn't McDonalds deliver?!? This big-mac induced revelation has enough pure power to spur a shockwave of orgasm directly into your soul while simultaneously sending Betty White into convulsions.
"Eat shit and die, you can't get rid of me that easily."
You decide to create your own website in honor of all the ingenious, oblivious stoners out there entitled "highideas.com." HOWEVER, not only do you realize that you- the person that makes the Dos Equis guy look average- aren't original whatsoever, you also aren't creative. Because highdeas.com (that's right, they even dropped the "i") has siphoned away all the success and none of the women an internet phenomenon like yourself could...have...had.
"Betty and I need to have a talk with you..."
This leaves you with two options: submitting your idea to the very website that caused you such teenage angst. Or suicide. Despite an attempt at pulling a Nick Swardson, letting out a "WHO THE FUCK FARTED?!?", and blowing off your face in the middle of Times Square (the gun was on safety), you eventually choose door number one.
"I respect your decision."
And guess what?- you are accepted by the pothead community with a total of 63 hits (pun intended) and rising, under your submission of "McDirty's Delivery." Unfortunately, "Midget Village" reigns supreme and it's gonna have to take a little more brain juice and a lot more bong tokes, to top it...
1. Midget Village
Â· Buy a forest. Adopt 8 midget babies every year (mixed race). Be the only non-midget around and raise them to think you're their god.
"I know what you mean by 'reigns supreme' now. I'm learning so many wonderful things."
2. Parkouring Pot Dealers
Â· The police aren't going to have fun running after a parkouring weed dealer. Urban areas would make it even more awesome and bonus points if they're stoned while parkouring.
3. Nostril to Finger Ratio
Â· I've noticed that nostril size is directly related to finger size.
4. Touchscreen Drive-thrus
Â· Talking is such a hassle when your high.
They need to make drivethrus like touchscreen at night, so all the stoned ass kids can get their food without saying a goddamn thing. This would save the workers having to talk n shit, and food would be much more appealing if i can just reach out and touch a GIANT FUCKING PICTURE of what i want. Also as a bonus, a robotic hand would hand me my food and i'd be like "thanks robot" and the robot would be like "no prob braahhhh" and i'd be like "yeeaaaaaaaaa, he knows.
5. Invisible children
Â· I'm pretty sure if carmen sandiego and waldo were to hookup and make children, they'd probably just be invisible.
...But not as invisible as this dog.
6. Bigger Capri Suns
Â· They really need to make capri sun packs bigger. I'm not fucking 7 anymore. I'm a grown man with bad kottenmouth. All I'm trying to say is that sometimes 6.5 Fl. Oz. just doesn't cut it.
7. Phone Prank
Â· Next time you get lit with your buddies, on the car ride home from their house call them and ask if you left your phone there. Since their high they'll start looking and not realize that you are calling from your phone to find your phone.
Shit is halarious.
8. It's a little man
Â· The word OK looks like a sideways person. I've said OK my whole life and never noticed him. What's up little guy?
9. Jaws Backwards
Â· If you watch jaws backwards, its a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach.
10. Cop Cab sucks compared to Cash Cab
Â· Sittin in a cop car the other night, getting busted for parif./poss. I realized that cop cars are the exact opposite of Cash Cab:
The host is a dick.
Flashy lights are on the outside.
You wish you didn't know the answer to the questions
They take you someplace you had no intention of going to
And they take your cash
on a side note...fuck the police
If you wanna find more, look 'em up on the website!
1. Don't be a jackoff to people on the site. If you don't smoke, whatever. If you do smoke, whatever. But there's a difference between a judging sober and an accepting sober as well as a difference between a judging pothead and an accepting pothead (yes, it works in reverse too). Be the latter. Non-stoners can still post (considering how there isn't a soberdeas.com site yet), it'll just lack that creative, illogical stoned POV...Which is good and bad.
"But how do I come up with an awesome highdea?"
C'mon Jon Stewart, you of all people should know you just have to look at the back of a 20 dollar bill...on weeeeeeed. There's some weird shit in there, man. No but in all seriousness, there are four simple words to cover this: Think outside the box. Do that, sober or baked and I guarantee you, you'll think of something.
3. If you wanna help me out, watch Starkiller60 and upvote his highdeas. Thanks in advance!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand."- Albert Einstein.