2 Of The 6 Writers Of Scary Movie

These 2 "writers" have managed to single handidly shit on the reputation of any spoof movie ever. By saying they're 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie,they give that movie a shitty reputation too. They've given us some of the worst movies ever made.

Such as this


And probably this too.

Just The Facts

  1. Their real names are Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
  2. They enjoy shitting on movies in their spare time.
  3. Their parents are Hitler and Yosemite Sam

But I Like Them!

Yeah, well fuck you! That's my message to you, fuck you, and kiss my ass!

If you got that joke, you deserve a cookie.

Should you actually enjoy these movies, I would reccomend high doses of Asprin, 10 litres of Rum and a bullet to the brain. No, just kidding, only the bullet is neccesary.


I'm not going to lie though, roughly 0.000007% of people who watch these movies actually like them. This means that half a person actually liked the movie along with you. Instead of giving you actualy proof of that, here's a video of a guy mesmorized by rainbows. For the other 99.999993%, congratulations, you're normal. I bet your parents are ecstatic.


Why These Two Are Evil!

We recently saw the latest film from the witless duo, 'Vampire's Suck'. Besides managing to make us hate vampires even more, we noticed they have started to put secret images inside of their movies.

These images include pictures of the third ball penis which, should you not know what we're talking about, is explained in depth here by a fellow cracker. From what we gather, either the duo is placing these in their films, or the projectionist is really cool, and has seen Fight Club.


Either way, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg must be taken out. From what we gather, these two are attempting to turn everybody gay, including homosexuals. How this would work on women, and what it's meant to accomplish is still beyond us. Could this be the start of an apocalypse? The scenario seems all to real.

Is Crispin Glover Helping With The Apocalypse?

Yes, this guy.

This man has been working with the 2 writers of Scary Movie to take over the world. But how, says you, could he possibly be involved with these 2 talentless man whores? Well first, they prefer the term 'little people', and second off, we figured this out through 4 simple things.

1. He dances way more epicly than any mortal should.

2. He enjoys freezing cats in his freezer and crushing dogs with his feet.

3. He has deadly precise aim with kicking his shoes off.


He's fucking Wonka! Go ahead, cry. we'll wait.

What could him and the 2 writers of Scary Movie be doing? Could he be secretly a cyborg sent back in time to help kill cinema and dance his ass off? Or is he planning to make a lifetime supply of cookies that secret ingredient is his frozen cat? We may never know, but it is now clear that he is somehow involved in this whole mess. While we may not know what their scheme is now, we will in due time.