For every good band there are 10 that are so terrible, they should be outlawed from even listening to music. But in the modern era, we rely on these bands to distinguish who's worth illegally downloading. Here are 10 Of The Worst Modern Bands EVER.
In the late 90's, the band Creed won over the religious audience and kept the demons of rock at bey by convincing the world that lead singer Scott Stapp was a real life descendant of Jesus Christ. When fans found out that Creed was not a christian band, and that they themselves were actually in a cult, they were too brainwashed to fight back and the group sold over 30 million records worldwide. Despite the fact that they were the worst Pearl Jam tribute band in history and presented a drunken musical mess at live shows.
Just so happens that in a list with no particular order, Creed would show up first. The band broke up when Stapp was declared a false prophet and burned alive at the altar by his newly liberated followers. He was resurrected on the third day, only to begin an equally horrendous solo career while the other two guys started a satanic metal group famous for fighting their opening acts.
If you recorded every time your goth little sister cried when rejected by a young stud down at the Junior High, and set it to horror movie music, you would have Evanescence's entire song list. Now what if that goth little sister of yours was lead singer in a band? That is exactly how sexy Amy Lee is. This group has gone through more changes than the Supremes, and Destiny's Child combined, and lets not even rehash the debate over them being dragon slayers as opposed to vampire killers, or immortals, or riders of Mordor.
Evanescence has seen its share of fame and fortune, no doubt through the work of ancient spells and sorcery, or possession of the ring of power. They were slated for a September 2010 release but have since went missing after a recent Grendel sighting. Believed to be eaten alive, the project was postponed indefinitely. Let us pray to Scott Stapp that the band never resurfaces.
Limp Bizkit shot to fame behind guitarist Wes Borlands outlandish performance appearance, and lead singer/rapper Fred Durst somehow fooling audiences into believing that he possessed any level of awesomeness. He possessed none whatsoever. The band altogether, did possess an astronomically high level of bat-shit insanity. Question, how can 5 perfectly sane men agree to name their creation "Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water"? The answer is they can't. All 5 were as crazy as any notion that they produced any good material.
Thank goodness they broke up because Borland would have murdered Durst in an insane rage, catapulting his douche baggery to the level of influencing lead singers to this day. Imagine a world with every band, sporting an immature tool who thinks he's a rapper commanding all the attention. They eventually reunited and continue to annoy audiences worldwide.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Nickelback successfully completed the soundtrack to the clone invasion soon to come, by taking every rock and roll cliche and using it in the most cliche way possible. Lead singer Chad Kroeger, his two brothers and some dude stole their bands name from some barista chick at Starbucks, and then went on to be named Billboards Adult Pop Artist of the Decade in '09. Nickelback also boasts the distinguishing honor of being the greatest Canadian contribution to American pop culture next to Degrassi Junior High.
If your mind gets blown by the band who's playing the band, disguised as another band, then Nickelback is the band for you. The only thing worse than their music is the fact that they still make it. After opening for the 2010 Olympics the band announced plans to release their seventh album in late 2011. You should plan to burn down every place that sells it.
Now before you insult me in comments to express how important you feel Coldplay is, take a second to contemplate the size of the chunks they blow, while their song that you are playing makes you contemplate suicide. Coldplay's music sounds like a depressed animals mating call that has been recorded and remastered. Arguably the most talented band on this list, which only makes things worse, they perform a buttload of charity to feed lead singer Chris Martin's already inflated ego, and to make sad, prozac snorting fans compare them even more to their idols U2.
Coldplay is, in essence, a horribly mixed cake made of Radiohead and Oasis batter, that tastes and sounds like shit. It's amazing how followers can eat it and remain alive to tell tales of the abysmal darkness, buried deep within their albums. The band will release number five in 2011, after they have sucked every glimmer of hope and optimism from the songslist.
Any band that credits the legendary Social Distortion as a strong musical influence would be expected to make good songs, and Good Charlotte does. That is, if you're into sappy, slap-happy, MTV friendly ballads written for teenagers, grounded in assumptions of the worlds inability to understand them. Those teenagers are absolutely correct by the way. No one will ever understand how they can tolerate this worse, even less talented version of Blink 182. It is certifiably impossible to discern which of the Madden brothers sucks the most, or which one dated the bigger slag.
Good Charlotte makes two fighting Hyenas sound like a 150 piece classical orchestra, and in their music, anything old is new. The band completed a studio album in early 2010, but quickly scrapped it entirely, utterly confident in their ability to create anything worse. At all costs, avoid their garbage as they headline the 2011 Kerrang! Relentless tour.
Known for their Brady Bunch-like wholesome image, the Jonas Brothers lifted swooning to new pedestals in the mid 2000's. Their innocent teenage girl hormone exciting, gender bending, expedited adolescent sound can be summed up in one word, Disney. Well documented are the purity rings and the evangelical tone, but even hardcore fans are surprised to learn that the band hails from the recently infinitely glamorized, Jersey Shore. Sorrentino, Polizzi, JONAS?!
Well versed in the classic, child labor law violating Disney traditions, the trio are workaholics, and have amassed in six years, a catalogue more extensive than most bands from the 1960's and 70's. While a third of the world would like to see them involved in a fatal car accident, I anticipate witnessing their direction (or misdirection) once freed from the walls of the house that Walt built. We shall see.
One listen to any Goo Goo Dolls record instantly reverts any middle-aged woman onto a dramatic, obsessed pubescent girl. Whenever I hear them and their trademark sound, optimally composed to grocery shop or ride elevators to, I get infuriated due to the fact that the band was days away from breaking up before writing "Iris", the song that instantly catapulted them to worldwide superstar status. Oh, and lead singer Johnny Rzeznik will totally bone your wife, weather she wants it or not.
Analyzing the Goo Goo Dolls material is right on par with watching a newly painted wall dry, then repeatedly bashing your head into it. The band released their latest album in summer 2010 and have recorded a live mini concert performed at the Apple Store in Manhattan, NY in December, which they plan to release in 2011.
What is the opposite of punk? Everything their image portrays would indicate that Greenday is not the answer. A quick listen would indicate otherwise. After some early material, tickling the halfway decent threshold, the group committed themselves to commercializing their genre to the tune of four Grammy awards, and 26 million sales in records worldwide. They even had a Broadway musical adapted from one of their biggest hits, which we can all agree, is what punk is truly about. Greenday stays in touch with the youth, credited to lead singer Billy Joe Armstrong not aging a day past 20 years old.
If one of the pioneers in your genre basically calls you a poser, you know you're doing something wrong, and even Armstrong admits that the band "is not punk rock any more", ignoring the fact that they really never were. Greenday will soon have its own Rock Band video game and release a live album in summer 2011. Cover your ears now.
Ironically, the aspect of Slipknot that brought them all their fame is the same aspect that makes them individually unrecognizable, a quality which most celebrities in general would kill for, those damn masks and jumpsuits. It is said that their appearance is their way of "becoming more intimate with the music", which obviously was never fully realized. A rap sheet of controversies and the unfortunate death of co-founder Paul Gray make up Slipknots whole career to date, as well as campaigning to inform the world that Hell, is in fact, the capitol city of Iowa.
Slipknot's music is like compressing a Saw movie, dialogue and all, into four and a half minutes, and is directly responsible for some of the most violent crimes in the past five years. Currently on their third hiatus, the band will assuredly return with new masks, and a new subliminal message designed to trigger a patsy to brutally murderlng a family of four.