Kill Bill

Kill Bill is the 4th film from American director Quentin Tarantino, the guy responsible for Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, and an annoying callback to Blaxploitation films. Although considered one film, Tarantino split the film into two "volumes".

The majority of the main cast, minus the interesting ones.

Quentin Tarantino (He's really really sorry for Jackie Brown guys).

Just The Facts

  1. Kill Bill is a revenge tale that pays homage to Japanese cinema while also weaving a complex character piece.
  2. Kill Bill Volume 1 is an insanely over the top blood covered action romp.
  3. Kill Bill Volume 2 is a talky character development piece with an anticlimactic ending.
  4. Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids.

Cracked Breaks Down Volume One

Just to hit a certain nail on the head even harder, Volume 1 begins with a title card informing us that this is INDEED Quentin's 4th film. Ok, we get it, fuck.

Anyway, The Bride (Uma Thurman), was gunned down at her wedding by her former boss, Bill (David Carradine), and his gang of assassins, The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, a group who you would imagine must have pretty bad ass business cards. The Bride was one of Bill's most trusted employees and also his romantic interest until she left him to marry some poor, smelly record store owner. Bill didn't take this as well as one would logically think, and thus we have an explination for the ungodly awesome wedding massacre before us. As Bill delivers the final shot, The Bride manages to tell him that she is carrying his child. The audience has now apparently had enough reason to deduce that Bill is the bad guy.

Note to Audience: Antagonist

Note to Audience: Antagonist

After the credits, Quentin stays true to his time honored tradition of never, EVER, following a linear plot and sets up a scene wherein the Bride is not mangled as fuck, but is instead now on a murderous revenge spree against the DVAS members responsible for fucking up her wedding. She starts by killing "Copperhead" (Vivica A. Fox) while Copperhead's 7 year old daughter watches. Upon finishing the act, The Bride consoles the child with a kind, comforting "oh well", and leaves the child to poke at her dead mothers corpse.

Note to Audience: Protagonist

Note to Audience: Protagonist

Time jumps back again and now The Bride is comatose after getting her shit ruined. A few years later, she wakes up right before she almost gets coma-raped by a hillbilly. She proceeds to Mike Tyson him, and steal his truck, cleverly titled "Pussy Wagon". Realizing her baby is dead and that her life was nearly ruined, she decides to set out to do what needs to be done, something we've already fucking realized she's decided to do.

We jump forward in time to a point after the hospital but before Vivica A. Fox (keeping up?). The Bride is after O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), a former DVAS member now living the life of a powerful Japanese crime boss. The Bride can't do it on her own though, so she enlists the help of a Pat Maritaesque sword master. After getting The Master Sword and digging up Bruce Lee's body to steal one of his old jump suits; The Bride heads to Tokyo to cross Ishii off the list. After arriving at a club Ishii is at and making the audience listen to that song from the fucking Vonage commercials, the Bride proceeds to commit a string of violence against Asians so grotesque and violent, it would have made the My Lai massacre look like a water gun fight if Tarantino didn't cut the color out just when all the blood started flowing.

Dissapointing

Lame

After killing everyone in sight including several on set interns, The Bride and Ishii duel in the snow, which ends with Lucy Liu missing part of her fucking brain. This scene is made more awesome if you imagine it as Liu's eternal punishment for making Codename: The Cleaner

For fuck's sake...

I mean come on, for fuck's sake...

The movies proceeds to close with an EARTH-SHATTERING TWIST!!!!!!! Well, not entirely Earth-shattering, but it wasn't as bad as "omg the aliens weakness is the most dominant substance on the planet!"

Again, come on.

Again, come on...

Cracked on the Film in Retrospect

Kill Bill was both a critical and commercial success if the opinions of respected film critics and the wallets of the movie going public are to be believed. Tarantino received even more praise for the film, and many even got over the fact that he was responsible for Jackie Brown.

Kill Bill will also be remembered for restoring the career of David Carradine. Before Kill Bill, Carradine had faded into acting obscurity after the show that initally made him famous, Kung Fu, went off the air. The Kill Bill series erarned Carradine a Golden Globe Nomination and a new level of respect, until he died in 2009 when he accidentally hung himself while performing auto-erotic asphyxiation. Then all he became remembered for was for jacking off like the bad guy from Hannibal.

The movie itself has heavily infested popular culture, with many of the tunes on the soundtrack popping up in commercials and other films. Many of the scenes in the movie have also been paid homage to in other recent films, such as the critically acclaimed and eternally beloved Date Movie.

Even though he was only joking, Tom shortly shot himself in the hand after writing the previous sentence.

Kill Bill Volume 1 was followed by Kill Bill Volume 2, a movie with less action and more character development. A movie where Michael Madsen is made into a total bitch after being made to look awesome. A movie that could have ended alot better. A movie that I don't have to write about because this article only covers the first movie.