Chris Farley

The man defied all odds by playing the same character, presumably himself, in every role that he ever filled. Yet he still made that funny from 1990 to approximately Almost Heroes and then back to funny again for his small role in Dirty Work.

This photo was likely used for Farley's driver's license.

Someone was hard-pressed to tame the man long enough to shoot this SNL marketing portrait.

DNA test results inconclusive...

Just The Facts

  1. Graduated from Marquette University in 1986.
  2. Discovered by Lorne Michaels while doing work for Second City based in Chicago.
  3. A Saigon whore bit his nose off in Dirty Work.
  4. Neck fat is funny.

Long laughs packed into a short life...

Look, if you ever watched Saturday Night Live in the 90's then you already know that Chris Farley was a master of gut-busting comedy. I submit the following evidence-

How many times have you quoted or heard quoted any of these Chris Farley lines:

- "Living in a VAN down by the RIVER!"

- "It's HERBIE Hancock..."

NOTE: This is NOT the same person as John Hancock.

- "Fat guy in a little coat..."

- "Well, not me personally... But a guy I know. Him and her GOT IT ON! WOOO WEEE!"

- "I was checking the a ... specs on the end line, for the rotary, girder, I'm retarded."

And so on... The defense rests.

Movie Titles

Year Film Role Notes
1992 Wayne's World Security Guard
1993 Coneheads Ronnie the Mechanic
Wayne's World 2 Milton
1994 Airheads Officer Wilson
1995 Billy Madison Bus Driver Uncredited
Tommy Boy Thomas "Tommy" Callahan Jr. MTV Movie Awards Best On-Screen Duo (Shared with David Spade)
1996 Black Sheep Mike Donnelly Nominated - MTV Movie Awards Best Comedic Performance
1997 Beverly Hills Ninja Haru Nominated - MTV Movie Awards Best Comedic Performance
1998 Almost Heroes Bartholomew Hunt Released posthumously
Dirty Work Jimmy Uncredited
Released posthumously

Chris Farley was to voice the title role for SHREK. That's the long-awaited answer to the question of how America could have loved SHREK any more than it already did. No offense, Austin Powers... Or whatever your name is.

On Television

Year Title Role Notes
1990-1995 Saturday Night Live Various characters 100 episodes
1992 The Jackie Thomas Show Chris Thomas 1 episode
1993 Roseanne Man in Clothing Store 1 episode
1994 Tom Chris 1 episode
1997 All That The Chicago Ketchup Chef 1 episode

In death

The most fun aspect of doing these CRACKED Topic bits is that you get to hate on stupid crap (David Caruso) and be funny about it. This was a super funny guy who died young. This is how not funny losing him was:

On why he chose not to attend Chris Farley's funeral, David Spade said, "I just couldn't have gone into a room where Chris was in a box."