Catholic School Girls

With Catholic school girls, the porn industry has taken something that should have been totally off-limits (underage girls) and turned it into something do-able (thirty-something whores pretending to be teenagers).

At first they may seem reluctant, but Catholic school girls love being spanked as much as...well, men love spanking.

Pictured: Outfit from the movie

Just The Facts

  1. The most revealing aspect of a Catholic school girl is the uniform, which was obviously created by a dirty old man.
  2. Besides the uniform, the religion behind the school girls is what makes them so verboten. Men are attracted to women who reject them, and even more so if the rejecting is in the name of the Lord.
  3. If you have Catholic school girls, you are bound to have nuns. And that's another definite plus in the minds of men, because according to them, nuns are freaky.

The uniform: practical, or just another fetish

The Catholic girl uniform has been around for thousands of years, pre-dating dinosaurs and even microorganisms (source needed).

Practicality: The skirt draws in men, which is good for the Catholic church attendence.

More people = more money.

More men - birth control of any kind = a ton of Catholic babies. Who grow up to love unprotected sex, just like their parents. Catholic girls know that they are turning into their mothers when they tell the boys to quit using condoms.

"See, honey? They're just Tic-Tacs. I call these my little white lies."

No wonder Catholicism is the most prevalent Christian religion--it all boils down to the power of the Catholic school girl uniform.


Some people (I would have said men, but there are probably millions of lesbians who are all about Catholic school girls), however, have turned the pure Catholic intentions of a short skirt and tight-fitting white button-down shirt into a sick fetish.

C'mon, people, these are not the images fetishes are made of!

Oooh. Apparently plaid is a magical fabric, especially when paired with thigh-high stockings.

Losing their religion

Without God, there would be no Catholic school girls.

Now that's what I call a father.

It is partly the religion that draws men (and lesbians) to Catholic school girls. After all, they go to school in ridiculously expensive buildings and are watched over by nuns.

Nuns like this.

They are off-limits, unable to submit to premartial sex or other sins of the flesh. Unless it's with a priest, then it is totally fine.

"So, God said it's cool if there's no penetration. Shall we proceed?"

Catholic school girls in culture


Even as Catholic school girls are more becoming more and more porn-fodder, there are still classy movies that attempt to tell the true story of the average Catholic school girl.

Case in point: Loving Annabelle.

The secret? It's a pop quiz ... of my vagina.

Loving Annabelle has a few things going for it, like lesbians, hot teachers, school girls, rebellion, and sex after a school dance. Maybe the tagline should be "one student, one teacher, and one furiously masturbating man watching the two get it on."

Then there's the 80's hit "Private School," which isn't necessarily about Catholic school girls, but their less religion-y counterparts.

It also features Betsy Russell riding a horse topless.

In "Private School" Phoebe Cates (the really hot, slutty girl from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) as Christine and the aforementioned Besty Russell as Jordan fight over the same man. Why they are doing this is probably just because of rivalry, seeing as boys from the all-male private school actually dress in drag to see the girls at the all-girl private school. Just having some frontal fat-bags and a working vagina pretty much guarantees that a boy will want to sleep with you, no flirting necessary.

However, if they did need to flirt, maybe they could do so with a gaping hole in their top-chest.

"Yeah, 911? Someone took me waaay too seriously when I said I would rather die than go to private school."

Catholic school girls are such a cultural presence that their look has been copied in music videos...

Television shows...

And even cross-dressers.

Check out the gams on this chick!

If you're creeped out about Catholic school girls being underage, don't worry. There are private Catholic colleges. Where perfectly legal women walk around, in uniform, just waiting to expand the Catholic population. Why haven't you signed up yet?