Artificial Intelligence

Remember how The Terminator taught us the dangers of AI? And then how The Matrix taught us the dangers of AI? And then how Michael Bay taught us that AI is controlled by Linkin Park songs? Clearly Hollywood has a lesson for us.



Movie A.I.

Movies are the most accessible resource in regards to Artificial Intelligence. No one has done more research into the practical logistics of A.I. than the brilliant scientists of Hollywood. If you were thinking of going to some ho-hum research institute, like say...M.I.T., don't. All they will tell you is bullshit about numbers, science, and other such useless garbage.

The Scientists of Hollywood have shown what will happen to us in the wake of creation of A.I. lets go through some of the basic steps:

1. Man invents A.I. Woo! Lets get drunk!

2. A.I. becomes self aware, and begins scheming....

3. A.I. proceeds to get "gangsta" on the human race, ripping people apart, making human batteries, and rapping in binary about it.

4. Humanity, now driven to a meager existence caves and huts, picks up some guns, and does what American does best: blow the shit out of the machines! Woo! Lets get drunk!

Wait, hold on.

If we are to assume that those who invented self-aware robots in the fictional world of the movie are representation of future real-world scientists, then we can assume that they are complete idiots. Didn't they watch a single science fiction movie? And then they chose to ignore the warnings? Fools. Utter fools.

In wake of a billion-and-one stories about how the sentient robots fuck humanity with their metaphorical robo-dicks (or literal, I would love to read that story, or better yet, SEE that story) you would think that one scientist would say,

"hey, guys, lets not invent this shit."

"Why Jim? We could have money out the ass no homo but we're rich"

"Well, I saw this movie about how A.I. eventually rises up against us and harvests our semen as battery fluid..."

"Was it sexy?"

"Well, maybe the robo-titties were, but aside from that, hell no!"

"...sigh. O.K."

Real Life A.I.

Although Movies are the most accurate source of information on anything, we have to look past their shiny covers and look to the nerdy coves of science. ugh.

The scientist at the institute of Wikipedia have listed A.I. as