Call Of Duty: Black Ops

Call of Duty: Black Ops is the seventh game in the COD series. It is made by Treyarch, the guys responsible for bringing you World at War. Of course there's no longer any money in WWII shooters, so now we have this.

Actual box art

Superior box art

Just The Facts

  1. The game features bad ass weapons like crossbows, ballistic knives and adorable little RC cars.
  2. It features some crude form of 'multiplayer' or something. I'm sure no one really cares about that.
  3. Black Ops made more cash money in 24 hours than the Dark Knight made on its opening weekend.
  4. The game was developed by Treyarch (aka. The World at War guys.)
  5. The game was published by Activision (aka. An abattoir of the human soul.)

The Game

Black Ops is developed by Treyarch, the company that made the ever-popular World at War. In an effort to both please and cash-in on those that were underwhelmed by Modern Warfare 2, the company is dedicated to listening to the desires of the community.

The game takes place during the Cold War and is largely in the setting of America and Russia's various proxy wars such as Vietnam, because Russia was the last real threat to America's global dominance, unless you count that bunch of dudes who hide out in caves. The game brings new equipment and gameplay mechanics such as full-control rappelling, RC cars and face-planting.

Multiplayer has its fair share of new features, such as the ability to make pretty much any emblem for your playercard that you want, and even stick it on the side of your gun.

As if the guns weren't phallic enough already

Long time listener...

Although Treyarch are doing their best to listen to the voices of all the whiny thirteen year olds in the world, who know nothing of game design and development, it will be nearly impossible for Treyarch to kiss every ass. So inevitably, some may feel they are getting a wide embrace from Treyarch, with promises of candy, kisses and hand-made sweaters. Probably kittens too.

Haha! It's delightful.

Others may not feel so good about what Treyarch is offering, and instead will liken the situation to something like this:

Or if you're a die-hard fan of their work, something like this:

If you couldn't tell, the main zombie there is the consumer. Or just a die-hard Call of Duty fan - take that as you will. The guy above his shoulder just has lice and is really itchy.


If games like Uncharted 2 and Red Dead Redemption prove anything to us, it's that video games a medium can effectively tell amazing stories involving player interaction and empathy for the characters. Also, that everything is better with the addition of zombies.

TimeSplitters 2 is another example of a game that was vastly improved by adding the undead.

This is not a screenshot of Black Ops.

Like their previous title World at War, Black Ops features a game mode that involves surviving hoards of zombies with your friends. In the words of the Japanese character no one remembers the name of "There is no victory, only death" Only the impact of how awesome that is is taken away a little by the humorous accent. You can also play as Nikolai, a drunken Red Army soldier, Tank Dempsey, a badass American Marine, and Dr. Richtofen, the (rather effeminate) Nazi responsible for the creation of the zombies.