Space Marine

Fresh meat for the grinder.

Just The Facts

  1. Space Marines in theory are badass.
  2. In reality Space Marines are movie fodder (likewise in videogames).
  3. Other than Starship Troopers, you can't name another epic space marine movie.

Meatbags en carne

Dear CEO of 20th Century Fox, Sony, Universal, Paramount, Warner Bros.

As you can plainly see in the above graphic I have named various movies or TV shows that contain the so called specimen "space marine", Star Wars, Aliens, Starship Troopers, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica and the most recent example Avatar. All them promised (to a lesser extent Stargate and BSG because of budget restrictions and a thing called storylines?) to have badass battles between countless marines and (insert enemy name here) causing the viewer to spasm in an orgasmic bloodlust. But no we are treated to whimpering soldiers, incentuous love triangles that make no sense, armies/battalions/squads that seem to be commanded by

and contain plots that may have been stolen from the back of a box of cocoa pebbles. That last movie mentioned, what was it Avatar? I didn't understand it at all, it was all about trees and this other hippie crap. When I go to a theater I don't wanna watch two big blue monkeys making love under a haunted tree, I want to see blood. All I want is a decent awesome action oriented movie with enough plot to string together battles between hordes of aliens/robots/bugs/lesbians and marines on some far off planet. Screw those big name actors, they're rich enough already, use those 100 million in budget on SFX and CGI, is that too much to ask for?

Goddamn just make that fucking Halo movie already.

Yours truly,