5 Things That Garuntee Your A Douche

Theres a few things that just scream your a raging hormone douchebag, here are 5:)

Douche 50's

uncle sam

and douche truck

Just The Facts

  1. well we would like to first understand what a douche bag is, if you think its a womens product, theres a blue arrow for you,
  2. a douche bag is tipacally a guy who lives every day like stiffler .
  3. or someone who thinks there better than the rest.

starting off with number 5, guys who wear sunglasses indoors. or at night.

. Wearing them indoors is only OK if your black, in that case you can pull it off, or if your a stoner, which were not addressing the stoner , so do you not want to make eye contact with anybody, or is it the fact that your mom bought you this shiny new oakleys for 150$, . whatever it is its pure douche.

Giant Dicks of a truck rolling in at number 4

Well i think we all know why these dick shaped monsters make it on this list at number 4, well there not all dick shaped, just in my mind they scream dick. there is only 4 justifieable reasons to need a giant truck, and most of these can all be rolled into one however your heart pleases, starting with number one poeple who actually need a giant truck wereever it is pulling folks out of stuff or going mudding, then theres poeple who try to hide there small penis with overcompinsation., and then theres rednecks, big trucks are kinda there thing, followed by douch bags, ....

Nombre 3.

When it's 98 degrees out and your nads are sticking to your leg like a baby chimp clinging to its mother, it's probably time to put the winter clothing in storage. Yes, I know you want to be cool and stand out, hipster dude, but wearing a wool cap in the middle of July just makes people wonder if all that heat hasn't warped your brain. There are lots of other "cool" and unique hats out there that won't bring on heatstroke and make your friends question your judgment. Sure, it may seem like a good idea at the time, but when you pass out at the July Fourth picnic people are going to be standing around asking who wants to revive the jerk in the fur trapper hat.

номер 2 Blue tooth

Hey guy, you must be doing pretty well for yourself, cuz I see you got the bluetooth headset… bet you're making all kinds of big important deals, huh?" Nobody is thinking this about people who wear bluetooth headsets. Chances are they're wishing you would take that miniature silver phallus out of your ear and order your extra value meal, already.

Look, we know you're a busy person and have crap to take care of, but pick up the phone and hold it to your ear like a normal person. Because unless you're also doubling as a secret agent or protecting the President, it just says, "I'm a jerk who likes technology."

Uimhir 1 steriotypes against "poeple form over the border"

We all know this is number one douche to some extent , but i had to put it in here , guys who think that people of other orient can pull English out of there ass like Russians can pull pure badassory out of there's.

we've all seen the guy in the front of the bus who notices a ihop sign that happens to have Spanish on the other side who gives us this big long speech on why you should speak American, after i have to get up explain how illiterate is, fart in his face and tell him that its English , first of all i don't want to be a hypocrite, I don't wear sunglasses indoors , i don't drive a giant truck(yet) , and i don't use blue tooth, and the last few numbers are in Russian, Irish, and Japanese, go find your Russian friends, they'll tell ya, I just want to say what the fuck, English being the hardest language to learn, these guys would stand at the front gate of the border, screaming like a menstruating German drill Sargent just because hoolio doesn't speak English, i mean common the guy is great at mowing the yard, and oh wait taking every single douche job you've ever had, ..... so that completes my list please use this list to make your ultimate douche agenda, because I'm doing this shit for free, i would hate to open a can of thermonuclear lawyer whoopass. the end . Plus do you really think the fine FRENCH folks that discovored america Really spoke English? ohhh no a history reference