5 Countries With Weak Pesos, But Hot Women

The peso is one of the most widespread and weakest currencies in the world. It just so happens to be that with a weak currency comes some EXTREMELY hot babes (USA take note). Warning: This MAY be slightly NSFW, caution is advised in the workplace.

This is a peso, wait... FRANCE USED IT?

Image by delphindus

Just The Facts

  1. Pesos mean "weight" in Spanish.
  2. Pesos are worthless.
  3. Hot women aren't worthless.
  4. Just look at the bloody girls alright?

Argentina - Yesica Toscanini

Yesica on grass with boots

She's 24, she's hot, not much else to say really.

What You Didn't Know About Her (Apart From Her Existence, Probably)

She models for Sports Illustrated and she appeared in the Music Video of Enrique Iglesias' "The Ping Pong Song", playing his high school sweetheart.

DAMN THIS MAN

Yea... Sorry guys, we don't really stand a chance, SO HERE'S ANOTHER PHOTO OF HER!!!

Yesica Toscanini

And another...

Yesica Toscanini, her names pretty cool isn't it

And another...

I don't normally eat my hot dogs with a spoon or what appears to be tuna, but its Yesica Toscanini, does it matter?

We here at CRACKED don't normally eat our hotdogs with a spoon or what appears to be tuna, but its Yesica Toscanini, does it matter?

Doability Factor: 10/10 (If you disagree, you are either homosexual or a woman)

We think we will move to Argentina, preferably where she lives.

Chile - Leonor Varela

Leonor Varela

She was born in the capital of Chile and some of you may recognize her from Blade 2 as Nyssa Damaskinos, the princess (SPOILER ALERT) who dies in sunlight at the end of the movie in Snipe's arms. She also appeared in Stargate: Atlantis, Cleopatra, Arrested Development and Goal 2.

What You Didn't Know About Her (Apart From Her Existence, Probably)

She's a vegetarian who loves whales.

Moby Dick, and people ask her why she LOVES whales

Moby Dick: And people ask her why she loves whales

Arrrrrrh! Bring yur harpoons and you might have a chance wit' dis one me hearties! That is ofcourse if she forgives you for killing her love. And here are some pics of her:

This isn't her best photo

And Another:

Dirt on boobs, its not so bad

I know we like our girls dirty, but I think that's taking it too far...

By the way, she's 37.

Shes staring at us, thats a good sign

She's smiling because she KNOWS you don't care.

Doability Factor: 8/10

They can't be all 10/10, plus her age and next time you see her you see Nyssa, yeah...

Colombia - Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara

Recently famous through the hit tv-series Modern Family, she is smoking hot and 99% why people watch that show. Can you believe she was only #62 in Maxim's Hot 100 list in 2008? She has also appeared in Dirty Sexy Money, as Baldwin's love interest, Entourage and Baywatch.

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We can take him!

What You Didn't Know About Her (Apart From Her Existence, Probably)

For the more aware and/or eagle-eyed readers, you would have noticed that earlier, I said that Sofia has appeared in Baywatch. What does the average person from Baywatch look like now?

THE HORROR

The Horror

Oh dear... And lets do the math (OH NO MATH!) if shes, say, Yesica's age, 24, and she appeared in Baywatch in 1999, that would mean she was 13? That doesn't seem to make any sense. It doesn't because shes actually 38 and has a 19 year old son.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

We don't (want to) believe it either. Or maybe this is a good thing, next time you go looking for a long term relationship, go colombian, they age EXTREMELY well. Keeping with tradition, here are some more photos of her!

She has blonde hair?

Oh yes, we failed to mention that shes NATURALLY BLONDE AS WELL, and that she dyed her hair because HOLLYWOOD wasn't used to BLONDE LATINAS. We're sorry Hollywood, but really sometimes, lets kick the stereotype in the face, its not like she doesn't sound like shes from South America or shes not tanned (We still love you Sofia).

0_0

Here is a photo of her face, just in case you didn't realize how pretty she is since you were most likely looking a little lower, like we were.

It doesn't really get better than this

If you happen to live anywhere near where Sofia lives or where the Emmy's are taking place, you have a good chance of seeing more of her if Modern Family wins an Emmy, not through the show, but through STREAKING.

Doability Level: 9/10

We have to be brutal here, 38 is no spring chicken. And thats really the only thing standing in her way from a 10.

Mexico - Elsa Benitez

Elsa Benitez

At 32 years of age, Elsa Benitez is in her prime. She also models for Sports Illustrated and is just unbelievable pretty. She has also appeared in Enrique Inglesias' music video (This guy AGAIN? He sure can pick his ladies right) "Love to See You Cry".

Seriously, fuck this guy, no, not you Elsa

Seriously, fuck this guy. No not you Elsa...

Look at his smirk. Make ELSA cry and your going to have to have an appointment with Mr Fist and Mr Pain. She is also the Tyra Banks (e.g. host) of Mexicos Next Top Model, although we doubt anyone who wins Mexicos Next Top Model will be as good and pretty as Elsa...

Mariana Bayon, winner of MNTM Cycle 1

Mariana Bayon, winner of MNTM Cycle 1

Err... I take that back, maybe?

What You Didn't Know About Her (Apart From Her Existence, Probably)

She married this guy:

JUST LOOK AT THE EYEBROWS

JUST LOOK AT THE EYEBROWS

Former NBA player Rony Seikaly, they are divorced now, probably due to his eyebrows, but gents, if there was ever an "opportune moment", this is probably it, if you don't mind her daughter that is.

Oh yes, she nearly died like this:

'Captain, I think we lost something.' "Never mind that! The right engine is on fire!"

'Captain, I think we lost something.' "Never mind that!The right engine is on fire!"

Sports Illustrated tells the story of how Elsa nearly boarded the doomed flight TWA Flight 800, which was a Boeing 747 (yes aeroplane maniacs, we know that the above image is not a 747, just deal with it) that crashed into the Atlantic Ocean near East Moriches, New York on July 17th, 1996. Sources claim that it couuld have been a terrorist attack or that the US NAVY shot it down with a missile, we think the pilots were angry that Elsa wasn't on it and rage quitted the plane.

Clothes! Thats rare on this article!

That photo looks like she got shopped into a black background, she is undescribably pretty though...

More clothes! Thats not quite as rare on this article anymore!

Elsa, showing that you don't need to be wearing next to nothing to...

Screw clothes

We forgot what we were about to say.

Doability Factor: 9.5/10

Honestly, the only thing bringing her down is having a daughter and being the Mexican Tyra Banks, since Tyra Banks is nuttier than a peanut. We can only hope Elsa doesn't go that way. If you are somehow STILL a little let down so far, we HAVE left the best till last.

Uruguay - Zaira Nara

Zaira Nara

Ok, shes not really Uruguayan (she's actually from Argentina), but shes basically Uruguayan, and we will come to that shortly. Uruguayan models seem to dislike Uruguay for no apparent reason, take Barbara Mori for example:

Mexicos not so bad!

She is a naturalized MEXICAN, what in god's name makes Uruguay so bad that it makes hot girls look at Mexico and go, "Yeah, thats not so bad!"?

What You Didn't Know About Her (Apart From Her Existence, Probably)

Here is why we here at Cracked consider her her part of Uruguay, her boyfriend, THE FACE OF URUGUAY:

This explains a lot...

This explains a lot...

That, friends, is Diego Forlan. For those of you who aren't very in sync with the soccer world and the recent 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, this is the man who brought Uruguay to third runner up in the competition (4th place), not bad for a country that has the 131st largest population in the world. He is however, not a looker, and if HE is the face of Uruguay, then, ok... Barbara, you are forgiven. We reckon Zaira is either an extremely deep person (as opposed to shallow) or blind. Diego Forlan is still an amazing soccer player though! (Please don't kill me Diego)

Does it get better than this?

Apart from having a cool name, Zaira is just...

Wet?

Wet?

The intense gaze...

Shes also patriotic to Uruguay:

Sporting the colors of Uruguay!

Yes we know Argentina and Uruguay have the same colors

Doability Factor: 11/10 (Yeah, she's that good)

The Peso

For those of you still with us, the peso is a currency introduced by the Spanish during its colonial times, where it pretty much owned the whole of North and South America. The word peso means "weight", which aptly describes what a peso is or can be: Deadweight, paper weight... the possiblities are endless. As a last "fuck you" from the Spanish to show how worthless the peso is, the people who introduced the peso to the countries that use it now, don't use it anymore, and haven't for 10 years.

As a reward for staying so long on this topic here are some Special Mention Countries that didn't make the original list:

Special Mentions:

Cuba - Ivelin Giro

Forget escaping Cuba! How do we get in?

Dominican Republic - Arlenis Sosa Pena

Arlenis Sosa Pena

Philippines - Misa Campo

Shes an Angel?!?!?!?