Welcome to Afghanistan! It's lovely balmy day here in Kabul, please set your watches back seven hundred years.
Afghanistan is a rapper's wet dream. While the rest of us have been happy to lyrically style a land of Drugs, Guns, Bitches and Booze, Afghanistan has been living the dream.
Drugs! The world's breadbasket. Of heroin.
"I hope Abdullah likes the centrepiece for his wedding!"
Bitches! Well, erm, we're working on this one, I promise.
Ah, no, this one is actually completely prohibited.