Hank Moody

Hank Moody is the main character on Showtime television series Californication. He's played by David Duchovny and should be the ultimate role model for any human with a penis.

Witness the evolution of David Duchovny. Here: X-files

Guess which show David likes better?

Just The Facts

  1. Hank Moody is a character on Shotime's Californication played by David Duchovny.
  2. Hank is a writer who hasn't written a word since his magnum opus "God Hates Us All"
  3. Instead of writing, Hank attempts to fuck everything that moves, consume all drugs created by man, and drink more alcohol than all the members of Motley Crue combined.

Hank Moody: The Man, the Badass, The Legend

Hank was not born. He descended from the heavens and landed upon Chuck Norris' back, breaking it in 8 places. Norris' career died shortly afterwards. In the mean time, Hank Moody's career was just starting. He wrote some books. One can only assume they're awesome.

At some point, around the time Cobain shot himself(feel free to argue about what actually happened to Kurt in the comment section. I will ignore it), Hank met Karon Van Der Beek. Karon is by far the coolest woman Hank has ever slept with. The only bad part about the awesomeness that is Hankaron is their offspring who will not be mentioned again for this article because she looks like a gremlin.

The Moody/Van Der Beek family sans Gizmo

This show is basically soft core porn without a much better plot line. Episodes have Hank having sex with a ton of women, getting drunk, and doing awesome stuff. If your mind is nowhere near the gutter, don't read on. This shit might NOT BE SAFE FOR WORK.

Hank's hit it and quit it list.

The first season finds Hank mostly drunk and screwing. There is some storyline where he's trying to keep Karon, his ex, from getting married. He also attempts to write but his manuscript gets stolen along with his car and his will to continue writing. Evantually Karon ends back up with Hank. Also, Hank's agent has a BDSM storyline but screw that guy.

Hank's hit it and quit it count:

Karon his on and off again ex. She's awesome.

Sonja. A scientologist that vomits halfway through sex.

This chick does not matter.

Nameless surfer girl. Steals Hank's shit.

Mia, 16. Pain in the ass for the next three seasons.

Trixie. Hooker. Hank spends a night snorting coke

and screwing her when his Dad dies. Her pimp later beats the shit out of Hank.

Mrs. Patterson, the gremlin's teacher.

The wife of Hank's boss. Brutal fuck up.

Hank's student assistant. She rocks.

Hank's student that moonlights as a stripper. Nobody will read this caption due to the rack in the picture [citation needed]