10 Happy Movie Endings (With Sinister Hidden Messages)

Everyone loves a happy ending, or at least a satisfying one. However, some writers use their endings to subtly teach a sinister moral that is anything but happy.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident'

On first glance...

But dig deeper

Ha ha ha ha

Just The Facts

  1. Audiences react better to happy endings than sad endings
  2. Some "happy" endings are merely endings that make the viewer feel a little better
  3. The ending to Se7en is not a happy one. Just throwing that out there.

10- Jurassic Park (1993)

The Movie

Jurassic Park is a deep and thought-provoking moral fable that makes one ponder about the ethics of cloning extinct animals and playing God. Since that wasn't going to sell on its own, a bunch of dinosaurs eat people.

Not like this, though

The "Happy" Ending

The climax of the film occurs when two children are being pursued by velociraptors in the cafeteria kitchen of Jurassic Park. These raptors are highly intelligent, but the kids are saved when they exit the cafeteria and enter the lobby, where a hungry T Rex is waiting.

Ironically wearing this like a sash

However, the T Rex decides to ignore the tiny meat puppets and instead focuses its energies on the velociraptors, whom we are informed by Dr. Grant taste just like chicken. The children escape with a handful of survivors and leave the island.

Abandoning the career of Martin Ferrero as they fly off

The Sinister Message

Brawn always triumphs over brains.

Where as children's films would like us to believe that pluck will always prevail

The Velociraptors are methodical, organized predators. The T Rex is a brainless eating machine. The only edge he can possibly have is that he's a monstrous giant death lizard. In a Disney film, the Velociraptors would be able to beat the mean old T Rex, proving once and for all that the little guy will always win. Disney would then use their millions to enslave more talented companies such as Pixar and Marvel.

But not to fear, folks- T Rex is brought down eventually... By a much stronger dinosaur.

9- Alice in Wonderland (1951)

The Movie

Alice in Wonderland is the classic tale of one girl's quest to find the best LSD in England. (I think)

The "Happy" Ending

After being pursued by the Red Queen's army, Alice escapes by exiting through the door she entered and discovers that she's actually been asleep the entire time. Then she wakes up.

To the Utopian society of Victorian London

The Sinister Message

There is absolutely nothing wonderful about the world.

You CAN'T fly

Look, we get it, it's a more realistic ending. But still, isn't a bit harsh to crush the dreams of millions of children you've BUILT YOUR ENTIRE CAREER AROUND CREATING?

Do you want to know the REAL story about Pinocchio?

8- Hannibal Rising (2007)

The Movie

Hannibal Rising is the uproarious comedy about a young man seeking revenge on the Nazis who killed and ate his sister, proceeding to murder them in various methods that relate in one way or another to cannibalism. Did I mention he kills Nazis?

I laughed so hard at this point I pissed myself.

The "Happy" Ending

Hannibal kills the Nazi that, while Hannibal is contemplating sparing his life, reveals that he fed him some of his sister.

You know, in retrospect, this was a completely terrible idea.

Hannibal then explodes the boat he's on, goes to Canada or somewhere very similar, and kills the last member of the Nazi group. He then grows up to kill people who piss him off.

The Sinister Message

Once when you've killed the Nazis that ate your sister, it's ok to kill rude people.

This is of course untrue. Once you've killed the Nazis that ate your sister, you should then proceed to kill every Nazi on Earth!

He gets it

7- 1408 (2007)

The Movie

John Cusack single-handedly pulls off the performance of a lifetime in a drama about a man who confronts the demons of his past in an enchanted hotel room.

Enchanted

The "Happy" Ending

The main character escapes from the hotel room by lighting it on fire with a Molotov cocktail.

Suck it, bitch

The Sinister Message

Booze and arson can solve all your problems.

Divorce THIS, ungrateful whore

This is especially deadly advice in a horror movie, where drinking=death.

6- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

The Movie

A satanic piece of propaganda encouraging kids to practice witchcraft and other evil deeds.

"Love, friendship, tolerance, self-sacrifice... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The "Happy" Ending

The evil teacher disintegrates after touching Harry because he can't love.

Yes, children. LOVE

The Sinister Message

Love can turn evil people into ashes.

False

It's very irresponsible to encourage children to go around loving people and then touching evil folks expecting them to die. It'll only cause trouble.

You fooled Joe Biden, Ms. Rowling. How dare you.

5- Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

The Movie

An intellectually stimulating film about race relations documenting the conflict between two extra-terrestrial races.

Pictured: Conflict resolution

The "Happy" Ending

The main character manages to defy horror movie conventions by being a)black and b)alive. Why this didn't secure every single Oscar possible for this film...

Pictured: A better film than Million Dollar Baby. I'm sure of it

...it's not over yet. The Predator that allied with her is killed by the Alien Queen after they dumped that bitch in the ocean. The Predator ARMADA shows up (conveniently) right after all this happens, taking the body and granting the woman to be an honored Alien slayer, whom the Predators will make a movie about on their equivalent of Lifetime Channel.

This movie breaks their equivalent of hearts every time.

The Sinister Message

Once someone has beaten your worst enemy and achieved feats that members of your own clan couldn't do, it's still okay to strand them in the middle of the Antarctic, the worst place to strand someone.

Second place.

Yes, that's right. They left her, in the middle of nowhere, no way to get back, in the most hostile environment on Earth, without even ASKING if there was a place they could drop her off at.

Just drop me off here, it's within walking distance.

4- Clerks (1994)

The Movie

An unflinching documentary about the everyday lives of people who've done absolutely nothing with their life.

Also known as "The Judd Apatow Method"

The "Happy" Ending

Well... it's not actually that happy, but at least Dante didn't die like Kevin Smith had originally planned.

Have you ever been killed off by Kevin Smith? It's embarrassing.

The Sinister Message

It's perfectly ok to have no ambitions for your life and be an store clerk FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE when you have literally no one to support, so there's nothing keeping you from going.

At least Randall was funny.

3- The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

The Movie

One of the many signs that Tim Burton is either a complete racist or has an unnatural obsession with pale people.

Which makes me wonder why he never tried to direct this.

The "Happy" Ending

Jack rescues Santa and Sally from Oogie Boogie, unraveling the fabric that makes up his body, allowing all the bugs inside him to escape. Santa then restores the Christmas that Jack has ruined, and Sally and Jack have some (off screen) Pumpkin Patch sex.

It's a bit more complex than that, of course.

The Sinister Message

If you kidnap Santa Clause/Ruin Christmas/Feed Santa Clause to the Boogeyman, there are absolutely zero consequences to be had.

He's suffered enough

Instead, Jack's actions go unpunished, as well as the actions of the kids that fed Santa to The Only Black Actor in the Movie. The movie then goes on to be EVERYONE'S favorite movie of all time, even though it really isn't that good.

Pictured: Better-made movies than The Nightmare Before Christmas

2- Clash of the Titans (2010)

The Movie

A film written by a lobotomy patient with a limited understanding of Greek Mythology.

Also known as the Eragon approach

The "Happy" Ending

Perseus beats the not-at-all-in-Greek-Mythology Kraken and saves the town. Zeus then somehow resurrects Perseus's girlfriend, instead of his family or that badass guy who exploded himself.

Douche

The Sinister Message

It's ok to piss all over Greek mythology.

Pictured: Not at all ok to piss on (all over)

LOOK, Hades is NOT a villain, so stop bringing it up. ARES was more of a villain than Hades, but no one seems to mention that a God of War would be more evil than the God of the Inevitable. Also, there were no Titans in this film.

1- The Tigger Movie (2000)

The Movie

If you haven't seen The Tigger Movie, there's a dark void inside of you that you desperately need to fill as soon as possible.

Before it's too late.

The "Happy" Ending

Tigger runs away after Pooh and all of his friends (excluding Rabbit) dress up like Tiggers to fool Tigger into thinking they're his family. Rabbit finds him and all is back to normal when Christopher Robin tells Tigger that they're ALL his family. They then all recite parts of a fake letter from his "family", including Rabbit, even though that bastard had nothing to do with it.

Could you imagine a Rabbit Movie?

The Sinister Message

It's ok to impersonate your friend's family.

The REAL penalty for identity theft.