The Suffering

This game can cause you to shit your pants and have an orgasm at the same time (in a good way). Step into Torque's shoes (figuratively, because he's barefoot during the game), a prisoner of the Carnate Island prison facility Abbott. Then kill stuff.

How could you say no to that face?

Standard Gameplay Experience

Standard Gameplay Reaction

Just The Facts

  1. The Suffering was developed by Surreal Software and published by Midway Games, released in 2004 for the PC, XBOX, and Playstation 2
  2. The monsters were designed by Stan Winston (He's dead now. Coincidence? I think NOT)
  3. The previous two facts were both plagiarized from Wikipedia

Plot

"The only person who needs to love me is me!"

Gameplay

The Suffering is one of those Travel-in-a-straight-line-killing-things games (actually, you sort of turn around after a bit, so it's more one of those travel-in-a-closed-circuit-killing-things games), but that's okay, because the killing is awesome..

Torque (hah, Torque! What a stupid name! What's his last name, Foot-Pounds Of? Anyone?), like so many other action game heroes, has apparently had years of military-grade weapons training, and gets to use the following weapons during the game: a shiv, a pistol, dual pistols, a 20's-style Tommy gun, a Shotgun, a Fire Axe, a Flamethrower, Industrial flares, Flash grenades, Molotov Cocktails, Frag grenades, TNT, several fixed machine guns, a secret gun that shoots chickens, a shiny glob thing, a flashlight, and a totally ballin' sword arm when he gets pissed off. The actual running around part of this game is what makes it so great, due to the fact that Torque is a total fucking nut-job. During the course of the game, Torque engages in the following insane behaviors, but still manages to make it out alive:

1) Having phone conversations with dead people, including his dead family

"What's the rate per minute for calls to the afterlife?"

2)Hallucinating his dead family, who always get their own slow-mo scenes and then turn into monsters.

3)Hearing the voices of former prisoners, and hallucinating their deaths.

4)Talking to and fighting Hermes, Horace, and Killjoy, who sort of want to help Torque but apparently have to ascertain his toughness by battling him (you'd think the whole family-murder would take care of that, but I guess not)

5)Watching things that are not happening, and himself, on security TVs

"Hah, look at that ugly sap!"

6)Turning into a fucking monster and tearing apart other monsters.

7)Using "Xombium" pills to restore health, in blatant disregard of the fact that Xombium is not a thing, and even if it was, it wouldn't have the powers of anabolic steriods and stem cells. I guess this is more a personal objection than a crazy thing, but whatever.

It kind of works like this

In addition to all this, every twenty seconds or so, the scary sound from "Jaws" plays, and a translucent image of one of the monsters, or of Torque getting killed, or of his dead family, or of the head game developer on the toilet pops up onto the screen, making the player jump even though they just saw one twenty seconds ago, and taking them one step closer to involuntary incarceration and treatment in a mental hospital, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest style.

1 thing the game does not have: A shopkeeper set up in the middle of nowhere.

Combat and Monsters

The combat is essentially what it is for every other action-horror game: making the bad monsters explode into gory oblivion whilst surviving attacks that would kill an ordinary man from their hellish weaponry (one must assume that the miracle powers of Xombium play a part in all this). The semblance of puzzle in the game is figuring out how to kill the monsters, which I will go into depth about right now.

The Slayer:

He doesn't play Raining Blood, he makes it rain blood.

The Mainliner:

"C'mon man, everyone's doing it!"

The Marksman:

It helps if you imagine them as Nazis

The Burrower:

I don't know, try a barrel roll?

The Nooseman:

"Have you perchance seen my legs around here anywhere?"

The Fester:

"Pardon me, but this is a nude beach, and we are very strict about the dress code"

Inferna:

It helps if you imagine them as flame demo - wait, never mind.

Horace:

"Careful. Few loose wires in here."

Hermes:

Fuck you, picture not available!

Dr. Killjoy:

Vincent Price's The Suffering

The Monster: The final boss of the game is a big insect thing with a mini-Torque hanging from his bellybutton, and can only be killed with Dr. Killjoy's machine. It has a lot of cool attacks, but nobody ever taught it to aim, resulting in one of the least harrowing final boss fights in the world.

Approximately as difficult to beat as this guy.

The Beast:

Fucking picture not available bullshit.

Assorted Guards and Prisoners:

"You guys don't look so good."

Karma

This game isn't the sandboxy Choose-your-own-adventure game Fallout is, but Torque makes numerous choices throughout the game that affect certain dialogues and the final ending of the game (because it matters very much that Torque makes peace with the hallucinations of his dead family).

After each good choice, Torque hallucinates his wife in some pleasant stance (i.e lounging, walking on the beach, dancing in front of a pole), and after each bad choice she appears to him angrily (i.e crying, dying, or injecting herself with heroin). Torque becomes more or less dirty during the game according to his choices (The exchange rate is one innocent killed per 10 handfuls of grime to the face)

Why the Suffering Kicks Ass

Here are some misc. parts of the game that kick too much ass to not mention:

-Torque fights and kills the prison drug kingpin in the recreation yards. (Because after all, the developers wanted to send a positive, family-friendly message to the audience)

-The prison is covered in floodlights, which cause some of the monsters to burst into flame and writhe in agony on the floor (Presumably for Torque's amusement)

-Remember that scene of Vampire Baseball from Twilight? Torque plays baseball too, except instead of prancing around like a glittering not-Vampire, he fights a gang of walking guns (but first he has to blow open the door with high powered explosives) around a pitcher's mound which is an endless cavern into the depths of hell while Slayers drop from the sky, pumping tons and tons of hot lead into the monstrosities, letting the blood spray all over him before transforming into an adrenaline-fueled berserker and tearing them limb from limb with an arm-sword. So yeah, it's kind of like that scene from Twilight.

-Clem, the southern gentleman, spouts some of the best lines of video games (Including the first and only use of the word Troglodyte outside of a dictionary)

"Plebeian!"

-Torque gets to gas a trapped guard to death, or ignore the killswitch (Hermes presses it regardless), resulting in Torque being trapped in the same room with the gas until a Slayer headbutts the glass wall down.

-The Gonzo gun, which shoots chickens.

-The Suffering used to be Freeware, meaning you could just dowload it for free, sponsored by the Air Force. That's been discontinued, but you can still nab a cracked copy off of any site that does that sort of thing. Just be careful not to get internet herpes.

This is what PirateBay is.

Why Some People Might Not Like the Suffering

Some people suck.

This guy prefers Pokemon

Sequel

The Suffering 2: Ties that Bind was not as good as the first game, but does feature one thing the first game does not have: A woman that isn't already dead.

"I believe I shall neither tits nor GTFO"