Diets

Nearly half of all Americans are obese. Diets make this tendancy worse.

Hi there, remember me?

Just The Facts

  1. Diet books are the biggest sellers in the "self help" category of books.
  2. Diets books are big business.
  3. Diet books are as full of shit as their readers..

Why are People so Fat?

There are three reasons for being so fat you can't wedge into a chair.

Glandular malfunction.

The rarest beast, and the commonest excuse for lard arses not to do anything, simply wobbling their backboobs and saying "It's my glands. The doctor said so."

You just had to fucking ask ....

Now if you hadn't distracted the doctor by devouring his receptionist, you would have heard him carry on saying "It is your shitty diet that makes your glands work defectively." Eating a shit-ton of crap leads to trace element deficiencies, meaning your body works less well, meaning you get fat! Fucking idiot.

Pregnancy

Eating for two is actually a metaphor, but many seem to take it seriously. At full term, you should weigh no more than 28lbs more than you did when you were having the wild sex romps that got you pregnant in the first place.

Aww, the tittie fairy hasn't been yet.

Any more than that and you are just suffering from not having enough sex to burn off the extra calories. Or comfort eating, because the bastard upped and left you.

Being a greedy bastard.

This means you. Look at yourself, you loathesome mountain of blubber. Anything motionless in your presence goes straight into your cavernous maw.

It weighs as much as many women. And is the only way you'll get satisfaction.

It really is time to diet, isn't it? Which one though?

Common Diets

The One that Actually Works.