Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston was pretty much the only reason to watch Friends during the show's entire 10-season run. Unless you'e gay, in which case there was no real reason to watch it as the show featured no men.

Hurry up, though, or this time next year you'll be up against Andy Milonakis and Verne Troyer

Just The Facts

  1. JESUS FUCK did you see that photo of her up there at the top of the page?!?
  2. Just ... it's just ... it - it ...
  3. JESUS FUCK.

CRACKED on Jennifer Aniston

Jen started off her career on the silver screen with a string of failed television shows. She was actually on the verge of giving up on Hollywood when a friend convinced her to try out for a sitcom with an all-female cast called Friends. The show, revolving around the lives of two hot women, one doable granola nutjob, and three ugly lesbians, ended up staying on the air for ten seasons, and towards the end Jennifer found herself getting paid a million dollars per episode.

Clockwise from far left: Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian, Hottie, Hippie, Hottie

Despite all her professional success, however, a series of failed relationships (or more precisely, relationshits, right, Jen? RIIIIGHT?!?!?!?!?) have led to her being looked upon as some sort of poor loveless spinster rapidly approaching middle-age, desperate to pop out some kids before her tubes wither up and dry and become as useless as those of those fucking lesbians.

"Hurry up and take the photo - Lilith Fair starts in half an hour!"

Jen - Baby - seriously, calm the fuck down and quit worrying so much about finding a man. You're hot, all right? YOU'RE HOT. Take another look at that photo of yourself at the top of the page. I needed to change my pants three times writing this article I was looking back at it so much. You're gonna be fucking fine.

... Make that four.