Just The Facts

  1. Like mud wrestling, but with yourself.
  2. Ew.


The dinner you ate last night wants to go home.

They are tired. It is a collection of young soldiers that have fought their battle. They have taken heavy losses, but they still have enough youth to return home. They are broken. The soldiers are a shell of their former selves, having been stripped and beaten to their rawest form. Nevertheless, they trudge onward towards the last obstacle in their way: the mighty gates you commonly refer to as your ass.

At the same time, the country of You doesn't want these soldiers in their homeland anymore, because the war is over. They've done their job, and they want to get them out of there. As they near the gates of your ass, the entire country bands together to push the soldiers out. Waves of muscles slap against the soldiers, bashing and thrashing. As they near the gates of freedom, the doors swing open, and they are free.

And then the soldiers drown.