Roger Waters

Roger Waters was the bassist/primary lyricist of the mega-platinum band Pink Floyd. Depending on who you ask, he may be considered a tortured genius. If you ask anybody besides Roger Waters, you'll find that he was the hugest douche in rock history.

Written, edited, produced, created, and owned by your Almighty God Roger Waters.

Just The Facts

  1. Waters wrote every Pink Floyd album that didn't suck.
  2. After he quit the band, it gave David Gilmour the leeway to create the unlistenable travesties known as A Momentary Lapse of Reason and The Division Bell.
  3. He tried to sue the band for using the Pink Floyd name after he left, because, you know, he's a douche.
  4. To be fair, Roger's solo albums were even worse.

With Pink Floyd: Early Years

George Roger Waters started his musical journey as an unattractive student at the Regent Street Polytechnic in, studying architecture with two equally unattractice classmates Nick Mason and Richard Wright. The three would go on to start a band named "The Megadeaths" (we're fucking serious) and managed to negate any possibility of a record deal by playing sixteen minute versions of R&B songs.

It wasn't until the thankfully attractive Syd Barrett, a childhood friend of Roger Waters, showed up that they changed their name to a more reasonable Pink Floyd. The band started playing sixteen minute acid-trip inspired musical vomit. Of course, because the music industry was a batshit insane cavalcade of hallucinogenic drugs and pinstripe suits back then, they immediately landed a record deal with EMI.

It's to be noted that, though Waters is notorious for donning the pretentiously casual black t-shirt and jeans for nearly the rest of his career, his choice of dress in the sixties was not only the complete opposite of "casual," it was fucking ridiculous.

I know the blue pants don't go with the yellow shirt... I'M BEING IRONIC

Presumably jealous of Syd Barrett for having a face that didn't look like a horse, Roger attempted to stick it to his acid-tripping friend by writing, "Take Up Thy Stethescope and Walk," on their first album, The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. The song sounds like the Beach Boys ate a rhyming dictionary and threw up the dripping remains onto vinyl.

The Space-Rock Period

After Syd Barrett was booted out of the band for his crumbling mental state, Pink Floyd turned their attention to long, drawn out soundscapes. Because very few lyrics were written during this period, there's little Roger Waters development. Basically, Roger was doing one of three things:

1. Banging a huge gong...

Literally. No sexual entendre intended...

2. Being stoned out of his mind...

and 3. Screaming like a FUCKING VELOCIRAPTOR!!!

It was at the end of this period that the band produced "Echoes," the 23 minute long B-Side of the album, Meddle. It was here that Roger perfected lyric-writing, in that the lyrics weren't about suicidal space men or whatever the hell Ummagumma was about.

Roger's Modern Habitat

Oh yeah! Did we forget to mention that he's on tour again with The Wall. A 67 year old man is running around the stage... I remember my grandpa did the same thing in the street... the only difference is they threw old pappy in the loony bin. To be fair, Roger is just as talented vocally as he was in the beginning (haha...ha). At least he had a decent special effects team. Also, not too many people died when they knocked down the wall at the end.

"God damn it! We need to give this old fucker something to do..."

"No more vandalism from you, little Roger."