5 things should leave out of their articles.

Just The Facts

  1. Vampires do not sparkle, you don't have to keep telling us.
  2. Korn sells a lot of albums so not everyone hates them.
  3. Daniel O'Brien is in love with Hannah Montana.

Stop guys, just stop....

5 Things needs to leave out of their articles

5. Hannah Montana

You know how when you were a kid and decided that girls no longer have cooties and boobs are pretty cool? What does every guy do? Does he man-up and tell the little girl he likes her or does he pick on her unmercifully? At this point I think DOB is in love, but being a little boy does not know how to express it. I'm not certain, I'm just putting it out there….

4. Justin Bieber

Being a grown ass person, I have never actually heard this kid sing. You know who has though? Tweens, that's right, little kids. You know why? Because that's his target audience. Who would you rather your kids listen to, Korn? Oh yeah, that brings us to….

3. Korn

So they are repetitive, big deal. You know who else was? The Beatles, and no, I'm not comparing their talent level, just pointing out that they had a hell of a lot of songs about love. Find me a kid who wasn't picked on in school and I'm going to have to call bullshit. So it makes sense that they sing about it because they want to sell records…. to teenagers…. who are in school….getting picked on. See where I am going with this?

2. Twilight

Enough is e-fucking-nough. Everything I know about these books/movies I learned on I would never have know who Edward Cullen was if you did not insist on plugging him so shamelessly. I have learned all of the main characters names, the actors names, the stupid plotlines and which ones are disgracing hallowed supernatural beings. Thanks a lot Cracked, I could have gone forever without knowing Jacob Black was a potential baby-raping werewolf on steroids.

1. DOB's abs

STFU about them and just post a picture already….

Now I know this is pointless, but at least someone will have to read it before they delete it. I should also point out that in the (certain) event this shit keeps on being written about I'm still probably read it….