Spanish Language Television

In America, Spanish televsion is on the rise. The biggest networks include Univision, Galavision, Telemundo, and Telefutura.


Just The Facts

  1. Spanish language TV is just as bad as American TV.
  2. Scoff all you like, Yanqui imperialist, but we all know you TiVo "Secret Life."

Hispanic TV: An Overview

Growing up, I had a mother, being a native Puerto Rican, who watched Spanish TV all the time. When she'd dig on me for watching Pokemon, I'd call her out on this shit:

This isn't a video a college Spanish class whipped up for their final project, this is an actual telenovela, or Spanish soap opera, which makes up a good 25% of programming. Soap operas are bad to begin with, but once you bring them south of the border, the over-the-top meter reaches 'ORANGE'. The acting's bad, the plot is stupid, but Madre de Dios, what a fox.

Comedies with adults acting and dressing like children, the other 25%. Like the soap operas, these are also over-the-top, almost like a live action cartoon. The one above is called "El Chavo del Ocho". It's about a kid who lives in a barrel, who drives everyone in this apartment complex crazy, and when he gets smacked in the head he goes "Pipipipipipipipi...." and, fuck you, this show is awesome.

The other 50% of programming on Spanish language television? PEOPLE FUCKING YELLING AT EACH OTHER.

I guaurentee, when you roll over accidently on the remote and change the channel to Telemundo, this is what you will see. It's just irritating, but for some it's damn good television. If you're a masochist.

"That's the whitest Mexican I ever saw."

You thought American TV was racist? Seeif you can guess if this is American network news, or Spanish language network news:

Yeah, didn't think so.

Yeah I didn't think so. In fact, take a look at all the clips I showed, there wasn't a single Hispanic who couldn't pass for a gringo. Let me get this straight, this television directed toward minorities that discriminates against minorities within those minorities?! Will you find a black person on Spanish language television, or a really dark Mestizo? No, you won't. Sure, American TV can be pretty damn racist sometimes, but the most popular talk show host on TV is Oprah, and she's black(right?). Who's the Hispanic equivilent of Oprah?

blonde haired blue eyed

The blonde-haired, blue-eyed Christina Saralegui. I wonder what she thinks of the Arizona immigration law.