Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson was once a well-respected actor and director, guaranteed to haul in big box office for movie studios. Now, he's full-on, bat-shit insane

Box-office draw

Insane, racist 'tard

Just The Facts

  1. Mel Gibson has starred in the Max Max films, the Leathal Weapon movies and in a series of overtly racist and frighteningly angry phone calls to his ex
  2. He apparently hates jews, blacks, hispanics, russian women, homosexuals, law enforcement, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, the baby Jesus, puppies and goldfish. He is a big fan of The Three Stooges
  3. He's fond of the word 'sugartits'

Cracked on Mel Gibson

Most people assume Mel Gibson is Australian because of his short temper and penchant for alcohol consumption but they're wrong. Gibson was actually born in Peekskill, New York, once described as a "hellhole" who's residents are nothing more than "rock-eaters" and "freaks". Pee-Wee Herman is from Peekskill, too.

Not freakish at all!

No freaks here!

When Gibson was 12, he moved with his family to West Pymble, Australia where he was educated by the Congregation of Christian Brotherhood which surprisingly did not molest him. He also learned the valuable skills of alcohol consumption and driving in a post-apocolypic wasteland because, really, what else is there in Australia?

Australia!

Australia

Gibson started catching the attention of movie folk through a series of theatre roles and in 'Mad Max', where he shot to superstar status everywhere but the United States because, apparently, Hollywood didn't think America was smart enough to understand the Australian accent. It wasn't until 'Lethal Weapon' that Gibson became a superstar, portraying a wild-eyed, borderline insane police officer with a short fuse and itchy trigger finger. Apparently, "Lethal Weapon' is a quasi-documentary. Who knew?

After conquering Hollywood as an action star, Gibson decided to really try out his acting chops by going for one of those "I'm trying to win an Oscar" roles. Hence, he was given the lead in Hamlet alongside legitimate Shakespearean actors like Ian Holm, Alan Bates and Paul Schofield. He called the experience like being "thrown in to the ring with Mike Tyson", something his future wife would know all about.

Damage done

'Hamlet' managed to earn two Oscars in those filler categories, where the statuettes are handed out by Haley Joel Osmet and Selma Blair. So, Mel turned his attention to directing, producing and starring in 'Braveheart', a sprawling epic filled with men in kilts, thick Scottish brogues and Gibson's giant ego. It was good enough to impress the Oscar folk, winning Best Director and Best Picture honours. We presume he celebrated by getting drunk and beating up immigrants.

The first indications that Gibson was a bit of a crackpot came as Mel started working the publicity circuit for his next Hollywood epic, 'The Passion of the Christ'. Always a religious man, Gibson told a bunch of priests screening the film that it was actually directed by The Holy Ghost. Not longer after that, a columnist with The New York Times suggested the film could fuel anti-semitism abroad, apparently unaware that anti-semitism is Gibson's middle-name. In one of the biggest over-reactions by an actor, Mel suggested the columnist should be killed, specifically "I want to kill him. I want his intestines on a stick. I want to kill his dog."

Mel Gibson hates puppies (see above)