The Girl Scouts are a terrifyingly large organization of young girls with its own handshake, law, and economic export. Who knows what the Girl Scouts could accomplish should their power be harnessed for evil?
Nearly 4 million girls are currently members of the Girl Scouts of the USA. Over 50 million American women are Girl Scout alumni. If there is a woman sitting next to you, there is a 32% chance that she is ONE OF THEM.
Not only that, but the organization has spread its cookie'd tentacles throughout the world. The World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (called WAGGGS, pronounced Wah-Gug-Gug-Gug-essss) is made up of 10 million members in 145 countries.
Let's put that in perspective. There are about 1.47 million active members of the US Armed Forces.
As of 2008, there were 883,600 policemen and detectives in America.
There are around 3,000 Bengal Tigers left in the world.
So if all of the policemen and all of active soldiers in America came to battle riding on all of the Bengal Tiger in the WHOLE WORLD, they would still be WAY OUT NUMBERED by Girl Scouts.
The New World Order
In Soviet Russia, over-priced cookies are guilted into buying YOU!
The sale of Girl Scout Cookies is the largest girl-led business in the United States. Maybe because it's impossible to say no to little girls pedaling sugar.
According to the Girl Scout of the USA web site, adult women can join Girl Scouts even if they weren't Scouts as children, even if they don't have a child in Girl Scouts.
Their cat and lean cuisine will miss them.
You're picturing her.
But we both know it's going to be her.