I Am Legend

For anyone with a functional brain, seeing a book named 'I Am Legend' and a movie named 'I Am Legend' next to each other might suggested that they're related in some way. Well the only connection they share is the name, which begs the question 'Is my brain functional?'. We'll set that conundrum aside for now, and focus on the matter at hand.

In the book, the main character[Robert Neville] isn't obsessed with curing the "disease", he just tries to survive. Of course, trying to get by in a city infested with mutated humans hungry for your flesh isn't the best way to survive, but that's another point altogether.

Staring at complicated books always helps.

Will Smith's only pet dog, his only companion in the movie is something present only in the movie. In the book, Robert Neville is left alone to sulk in home until he spots the mongrel across the street. I'll save you the effort of reading the book by telling you that he never catches it. So there's that plot point out the window.

If you're still miffed about my having ruined that part for you, there are more plot spoilers ahead, so tread with caution.

Everyone that's seen the movie knows the annoying woman and her child that show up when Neville finally decides to man up and kill himself. In the book, however, there is no child, no unwanted rescue. All there is, is an evolved vampire spy trying to capture Neville.

I'd be pissed if she was eating my food, too.

And now for the final point; the issue with the damn title. Richard Matheson ends the book with the line 'I Am Legend', signifying that Neville is a legend among the vampires, the last human, so on and so forth. That little detail never comes into play during the movie, because Neville goes and blows himself up, along with the entire block, somehow sparing the woman and her child who were about 15 feet away.

'I Am Legend' the movie is about as far from 'I Am Legend' the book as possible, and brings up questions about genetics, zombies and the known universe to anyone with even a vein of cynicism in their body.

Did I mention that the city is still as much of a clusterfuck as it was before?

One of the biggest gripes anyone could have about the movie is how Richard Matheson's vampires have been turned into Smeagol's cousins. I will admit that in the wake of the recent debacle known popularly as 'Twilight', the image people have of vampires has been somewhat distorted. However, I Am Legend hit theatres in the era when Edward fangirls were still cooped up in their rooms reading fanfiction.

"Say it. Out loud."

"You're still not a vampire. Grow a pair...of fangs. Then we'll talk."

The vampires depicted in Matheson's book were closer to the traditional archetype than you would assume. For instance, Neville found out through 1st degree murder that they could be killed by a stake through the heart. There is a scientific reason behind this, which you can find out for yourself by reading the book. I will admit, however, that I stopped rooting for Robert Neville around the time when he impaled a 5th vampire on a twig in an attempt to prolong his sordid existence. At that point, you can't blame the vampires for wanting to shred him to pieces. Floral impalement aside, the movie had a much different approach to the matter. Instead of using twigs and berries to bring down the "vampires", he opts for an assault rifle and a needle full of chemicals he made in his own basement. Throw in an unmarked van, and you've got yourself a really strange movie.

Another notch against the movie is how the vampires originated. In the movie, Neville tries to find a cure for the vampires, who were created, ironically enough, by a cure for cancer. In the book, however, the vampires are created by a bacterial pandemic that leaves everyone but Neville as a bloodthirsty, withering mess.

And despite what the movie leads you to believe, the vampires in the book DID find out where Neville lived, and they tried to get him to give up by driving him to the point of insanity. And they did so without prancing all over his house like 5 year olds on Gatorade.

Maybe a cape, some hair and less incoherent gurgling would make him seem like a vampire?

As a second warning, there are major plot spoilers ahead. In the book, the creatures evolve past the initial phase of drooling over anything with an ounce of blood. So far, in fact, that one of them convinces Neville that she is a human and is looking for refuge. This, as you may have guessed, is far from the movie's visual of shrieking, wailing, tantrum-throwing, bald middle-aged men.

But I'd rather be fighting the bald, middle-aged men than these things.