Phoenix

-Under Construction-The Phoenix was originally a mythological fire bird, though it's also the name of one of the X-Men, the capital of Arizona, and a last name (usually for mental cases).&&(navigator.u

The early bird gets the worm, and in fact, everything that isn't completely fireproof...

Just The Facts

  1. The original Phoenix is a fire bird who rises from it's own ashes every time it dies. Fucking awesome.
  2. Jean Grey was also called Phoenix in the X-Men. Probably because she could fly and burn stuff.
  3. Phoenix is the capital of Arizona, though their university is on the internet; and therefore, everywhere.
  4. River Phoenix was a pretty good actor, but was slightly too mental, and OD'd on drugs.
  5. Joaquin Phoenix is his younger brother, and seems like he might also be kind of mental.
  6. The guy writing this is also probably mental, but not related to those other mental cases.

The Mythical Bird of Fire

The ancient Egyptian "Bennu" was likely the first phoenix in mythology, though not the last. According to the first stories, a holy tree was burned, and from the fire sprang a mystical bird. It was usually depicted as an eagle or heron, and not usually as being ON fire. However, it some sects, they believed that it guided the spirits of Gods and Goddesses to the underworld, which was considered one of the most difficult and important journeys to the Egyptians.

It may be no surprise that the Phoenecians had a phoenix, but the Persians did too. Upon making contact with the Middle East, a large amount of mythological content was stolen by the Greeks, including the phoenix. The desert people were very upset, but intellectual copyrights hadn't been invented yet, so they were screwed.

5000 years later, and people are still drawing Phoenixes. Maybe it's not immortality, but it ain't bad.

As far as mythological creatures go, the Phoenix ranks way up there with the Dragon and Unicorn. History keeps moving on and coming up with new things, but the phoenix is never forgotten. It continues to appear in stories and is a widely recognized symbol in many cultures. It is generally accepted that the phoenix lives on a diet of meat, spices, cigarettes, and grains.

The Mutant Hero

Jean Grey was one of the original X-Men, and the only one without a cool name. "Marvel Girl" sounded pretty lame. She fixed that shit though, and got a whole new badass attitude.

The All New X-Men were different. Instead of all being mutants, they were all mutants. Also, you can see how bar codes ruin perfectly good artwork. You know...because they can't put them on the back or anything. Dicks.

Eventually, she became Dark Phoenix, which was dangerous to everyone and everything around her, but pretty awesome anyway.

Dark Phoenix (type 2) is making a Phoenix (type 1) with her mutant powers.

The Place

Don't just eat any old cactus or things start looking like this...

Phoenix is the capitol city of Arizona, and it is hot there. Really really hot.

According to Wikipedia, Phoenix is chock to the brim with white people, but mostly latino besides that. Arizona claims that they want to send away all the immigrants there though, so it might still become some sort of white power vacation spot or something. Probably someone will slap some fucking sense into their heads instead though, and they will have to learn to live with people who aren't white. It may sound easy, but bear in mind that they are racists, so it will be more difficult for them. So, have a little sympathy for these moronic short-sighted hatemongers, ok?

The University of Phoenix is also there, but it's not really there. There is a building there, but no students inside. It's just a shitload of computers that connect all of their teachers and students online. Ok, maybe a couple of classes are there physically, but not all of them. There are also other buildings like this in other cities, making it all even more confusing. In short, the University of Phoenix exists everywhere, at all times, in all possible worlds, as long as there is an internet connection.

The Actors

River Phoenix

Joaquin Phoenix