Fmylife.com - for those who want to punch real problems in the face
FML first began its reign of depressive terror on January 13th 2008 after being adapted from the French site Viedemerde.fr which has since become one of the top ten most frequented sites in France.
Today, my best friend asked me to be a witness at his wedding.Theme : Star Wars .Children will thus Ewoks , the little brother of the groom in Yoda, Darth Vader married , and witnesses ...by Chewbacca.VDM - one google translator later... and we have a French FML
As one can see, the site itself serves as: 'A recollection of everyday anecdotes likely to happen to anyone', and user submitted entries that can be no more than 300 words and must begin with 'Today' and end with 'FML'. But if you expect to have every gripe you have ever had published your shit out of luck... because there is an arduous selection process to sort the true from the straight up bullshit.
The process goes; any person in the world, be he a blue collar criminal, child molester or serial masturbator; looks through a list of recently submitted bitches and clicks whether or not they like it, based on its lol factor and its believabilty. In order to test this process, we submitted our own FML. The verdict was... that it actually appears to work. Our FML, neither funny nor true, was met with this email response;
As you can see, their method is flawless
But the Kicker of the site is that, not only does it allow people to comment on the updates, but also choose whether or not the person 'Totally deserved it' or indeed has a sucky life. Again, several problems arise with this, such as;
The fact that anyone thinks their life sucks because they got a paper cut from a box of bandaids (whilst funny and ironic) is beyond us. But it gets worse. Complaining that your life sucks because you made a mistake, while openly admitting that someone you know has a life threatening illness is pure self centered fuckwaddery. And then to top it all off, 28,982 more people think this man's life sucks, when there is someone with a real FML in what he fucking said! In perspective this equates to someone complaining about not having the balls to ask the girl that we all know is going to reject him out to a patient with a terminal illness, all the while punching them in the balls and screaming bloody fuck my life.
But, lets be honest, they were probably made up right? Most of this shit is? and when it isn't more self righteous dribble, its the ammo in the gun that fmylife.com has planted in the mouths of people with actual real life problems?
Well we have the perfect example of just how some people, really, have real FML situations, everyday;
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
When Fiction Fucks Us Over
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
So how do you think this poor man felt when, in june 2009 (the date the FML book was published), he finally found that book he literally shit himself searching for? ... Our guess is fucking fantastic. He had gone from internet famous to book famous, all because he, did (or did not) shit himself. And when the front cover says "It's true", and you know how hard the creators and users work to make sure everything posted is, if not true, at least plausible, then it must be true. And if its not true, who fucking cares because its most likely Dane Cook funny;
The infamous glob of dung
But in the end, the entire site was not made to act as your psychologist. Your not going to recieve comments with genuine information on how you can better your, 'fuck my life worthy' existence, and graduate to mylifeisaverage.com with the rest of us. No! the site was designed, in every way imaginable, to make you laugh at other peoples imaginary ailments, or unfortunate, but not 'fuck my life worthy' experiences. But mainly, it was made as a giant...