Power Rangers RPM

Power Rangers RPM is a kid's show that manages to be somewhat awesome.

The Original Power Rangers

Power Rangers RPM

The OTHER reason to watch RPM

Just The Facts

  1. Power Rangers RPM was the last show and thus supposed to suck, according to Disney.
  2. Power Rangers RPM features Judd Lynn and Eddie Guzelian.
  3. Judd and Eddie took ten minutes to laugh at Disney before taking a giant dump on their 'sucking' theory.

Why It Happened

Disney is a corporation of assholes headed by a cult of jerks. It's a well-known fact. How else would they have offended so many people with The Princess and the Frog?

But with Power Rangers, they'd reached a new low: Messing with five-year-olds.

They sold no toys, no DVDs, planned on canceling the show, and worst of all, only played episodes at 2 AM. Way past bedtime. But the real danger lay in these guys, PRU's community.

Power Rangers United Front is designed, managed, and run by fans of Power Rangers all older than five. In fact, the majority are women around twenty or so, working on first jobs or college while fanbasing Power Rangers. And, while there is no link to provide due to the site moving (and quite possibly a conspiracy), there was serious talk of them running Power Rangers themselves while Disney forgot it.

Then in stepped Judd Lynn and Eddie Guzelian.

Like a team-up of Batman and Superman, they first laughed at Disney (standing in for Lex Luthor\The Joker) for ten minutes solid, then proceeded to shuck any semblance of convention and kick ass.

Don't believe us? Here's the plot...

The Plot

The Power Rangers timeline is so complicated, it needs a whole flowchart to explain it. Please note that the chart the link directs you to begins thousands of years before Earth began. Trying to keep something in continuity requires the same sort of heroisim running into a burning building to save a potted plant does.

So Judd and Eddie flipped continuity the finger and jumped straight to the plot.

The opening informs us that an evil AI named Venjix has killed off pretty much every human.

Every. Human.

In Power Rangers.

It then goes on to inform us that this is Power Rangers RPM, but once we skip those few seconds we open onto the Battle of Corinth. Corinth, you see, is the only city remaining.

These are the last humans alive.

We are introduced to the Rangers, one by one, as they form a very popular three-man team: Flynn, the Blue Ranger, who speaks with a Scottish accent and saves a bus full of people; Summer Lansdown, the bike-loving Yellow Ranger who saves Scott Summers, the Air Force pilot and soon-to-be Red Ranger. As Corinth's army falls back behind the Dome, Scott discovers via his father, Colonel Truman--also the head honcho--that his brother is dead.

Colonel Truman is asked by an aide, "Sir, do you think there are any humans left?"

Colonel Truman replies, "If so, heaven help them...because we can't."

A year later, a human charges into Corinth.

Or rather, a human and a half. The full human is Ziggy Grover, soon to be Green Ranger. The half is Dillon.

Just Dillon.

He has amnesia and spends his spare time in the Fury, his car, and beating on Grinders. He takes Ziggy Grover into Corinth, looking for a mysterious someone.

He winds up in jail because Colonel Truman would like to know just how Dillon got that Venjix technology in his body. Dillon, of course, has no idea.

Summer, the Yellow Ranger, offers Dillon a choice. Become Black Ranger, or rot in jail. Dillon, after pointing out that he's looking for his sister, accepts.

Ziggy will later become Green Ranger, after facing this:

No, we're just kidding. She turns into a deadly and sexy Venjix attackbot, and works her way up the ranks to become one of Venjix's best generals, perhaps because of the lightning cannon shown below.

This pretty much sets up the season.

In the next few episodes we discover that the Rangers' mentor, Dr. K, is a) female and b) responsible for the Venjix Virus.

The Rangers don't know yet. But when Gem and Gemma, the Silver and Gold Rangers show up, Dr. K begins to get more and more calm around her newfound team.

Meanwhile, Dillon's memories are pretty much at the point of Not Returning.

Then he discovers his sister, and, in a totally predictable twist, saves her from Venjix. Spoiler alert: This is his sister.

Interestingly enough, this was only a plot twist if you hadn't watched Power Rangers In Space or Power Rangers Mystic Force.

Of course, this is the point where Disney steps in.

The Plot, Part 2

Disney is not well-known for its intelligence. This is not in the least because of its attitude to women.

Tenaya 7 was a femme fatale, a word which means 'pure badass'. She yelled at Venjix regularly, wore a catsuit, and had a lightning cannon. But, despite this, within one battle of her rejoining her brother, she was kidnapped.

In broad daylight.

By Kylobite.

Kylobite is this thing.

He's Tenaya's main foil--arrogant, crude, and generally an excuse to make men look bad. And, despite the fact that he's not fit to lead a troop of Boy Scouts, let alone general an army, he uses a smoke bomb and magic 'laser rope' to kidnap Tenaya 7.

This, kids, is why your brains are turning to mush.

Tenaya, of course, is too good to let go, so the Evil Overlords of Disney allow her to return...as a stoner with a monotone and some glitter over her eye.

Yes, that was Tenaya 15, the 'updated' version of Tenaya 7. Feel free to go scream into a pillow for a while.

After killing all our hopes and dreams, Disney pulled the plug on Power Rangers RPM. It ended abruptly and somewhat disappointingly, with an explosion from Micheal Bay's wet dreams, Tenaya and Dillon 'magically' overcoming the virus in them via a helpful serum of Dr. K's. Shippings are sorted, people leave and return, and it's over...

...Except for Venjix, who has downloaded himself into Scott's morpher.

And the fact that Dr. K, who is smart enough to figure this out and STILL has no reason to love humanity, has the morphers 'for safekeeping' when there's really no reason to take them from the Rangers.

You know. Little stuff.

However, after this bloodcurdling finale, Power Rangers was sold to Saban. Will there be a new season? Yes. Will it relate to RPM at all? Who can say?

But if it does...

Will Venjix return?