Australian Politics

It has often been said (by me) that Australian politics are boring. Even more boring than politics normally are. Especially when compared to, say politics of the American variety.

Actual representation of parliamentary question time

Just The Facts

  1. Australian politics use the British Westminster system of government .
  2. In a slap to the concept of Democracy, the government attempted to ban the Communist Party in 1951.
  3. It's well-known that Australian governments love to take what official law reform agencies say, and what the majority of citizens say they want, and do the exact fucking opposite.
  4. The Queen is our head of state - a fact most Australians aren't aware of.
  5. Australian Prime Ministers have consisted entirely of old white men and recently one woman... from Wales.
  6. Instead of having some form of order, parliamentary debates more often than not turn into mindless yelling, babbling and childish name-calling.

The System

The Australian Parliament consists of the Lower House and Senate.

The Lower House consists of the elected members from various arbitrarily defined 'electorates'. As each representative is elected according to their party, they tend to vote with their party, with the exception of 'concious votes' or when they decide to 'cross the floor' - presumably just to be a dick.

As stated above, the Queen is in fact the head of state, although to be more accurate it's the non-elected Governor General who represents her. This one time, the Governor General totally sacked the government in 1975 - The Whitlam Dismissal.

At this point it may be acceptable to continue discussing how the system works, but it's rather boring and frankly not at all hilarious.
Although our politicians...

A Fair Shake of the Sauce Bottle

Australia has no Bill of Rights. When faced with the question as to whether or not we should have one, politicians wet themselves in the fear that they would lose some of their power. This is because judges could potentially ask them to explain exactly why the fuck they think it's a good idea to lock up suspected 'terrorists' for indefinite periods without trial or evidence against them, why sex offenders who haven't re-offended can be kept in prison, or why they could possibly consider a mandatory internet filter a good idea.

The first female Prime Minister of Australia

... Wasn't elected into the position. She wasn't even technically elected to take Kevin Rudd's position of Prime Minister by the Labor Party, she just had the support to do it. Or an awesome bluff. Her position will be decided on the 21st of August 2010, when Australia will vote in its general election.

Aside from not having male reproductive organs, Julia Gillard is also unmarried and an atheist.

Extra terrestrial visitors don't believe in deities.

Hung like the parliament

Australians voted on August the 21st 2010, and decided who would lead them for the next four years. Voting day ended with a resounding "Fuck... I don't like either of you twats very much."

The Australian parliament was "hung".

This means that neither of the major parties had more than half of the seats in the lower house. How it ordinarily works is that whoever has the biggest number of butts on seats in the lower house gets to run things, and that party's leader is Prime Minister. However, days after the election there was no clear majority. Who obtained some of the seats in question came down to a very small number of votes.