Jesus Was A Jew And Other Startling Revelations

It is interesting the number of people who walk through life with very basic and very way off ideas about the man called Jesus. Some of these may seem obvious... to a select few.

Jesus Was Not a WASP:

Jesus was from the Middle East. He most likely did not look like that white guy you see at the YMCA.

YMCA Jesus White Dude

YMCA White Dude

Based on the genetic make-up and environmental conditions, Jesus was most likely a person with a broad peasant's face, dark olive skin, short curly hair and a prominent nose. His height would have been on the order of 5' 1"; he would have weighed about 110 pounds[1].

He probably had facial hair since Gillette, Schick and Remington had yet to penetrate these markets yet.

Could it be...? Naw!

Jesus was a Jew:

He was raised Jewish, visited the mohel for a quick bris, worshipped in the Temple and made burnt offerings.

Your going to do what? Piss on you!

You're going to do what? Piss on you!

He kept Mosaic Laws such as washing his hands before eating lunch and never took the Lord's name in vain (although I am curious as to how that would sound?). The term "Christian" was first used in 43-44 AD, after the death of Christ in 33 or 36 AD. Jesus was a "rabbi" or teacher of the Old Testament, including the Prophets and the first 5 books of the Old Testament said to have been written by Moses and contained the Mosaic Laws, including the 10 commandments and 613 other commandments which one person couldn't possibly keep track of.

..these fifteen...Oy!!...these ten commandments!

..these fifteen...Oy!!...these ten commandments!

Jesus Did Not Read the New Testament:

The New Testament did not exist during Jesus' life. Jesus would have listened to the Torah and Prophets being read (since he most likely could not read or write). The 27 books of the New Testament, including the 4 Gospels were written after his death.

It is general consensus the Gospels were written during the following years:

Luke - 80-90 AD

Matthews - 50-60 AD

Mark - 50-60 AD

John - 85-90 AD

The Simpsons - 2001 AD

Christ Was Not Jesus' Last Name:

The" Christ" is a title. Christ means "the anointed one". It is a translation of the Hebrew "Masiah", which translates into English as Messiah. He was more likely referred to as "Jesus of Nazareth". Jesus was a very popular name for his time. And no one really had a "last name". So distinguishing names was often done by geography, such as "Jesus of Nazareth" or "Jesus of Antioch" Or, a name was clarified by referencing the father such as "Yeshua Bar-Joseph" -Jesus, son of Joseph. Or Bubba bar-Bell - "Bubba, son of Weightlifter".

Jesus Was Not a Revolutionary:

While his life, death and life again had a revolutionary affect on religion, Jesus had no intention of starting a new faith. He was Jewish. He followed the Mosaic Laws. Some felt the messiah would be a great warrior like King David and vanquish those meddlesome Romans from their homeland. Or team with the Zealots to lead a group of guerrilla militants in overthrowing the government.


Christ got into trouble for illustrating hypocrisies of the time and trying to even the playing field for all people. He followed and even fulfilled the Laws of Moses. Always trying to be practical, Jesus was probably just trying to find a way to not have to carry around those heavy stone tablets in the Ark of the Covenant any more.