M.M.A (mixed Martial Arts)

Mixed Martial Arts or M.M.A for those of you who like abbreviations.is a sport in which 2 shirtless ripped men pound each other relentlessly and roll around on the ground. I made it sound kinda gay there didn't I ?

Is it still gay? Though he is crying... WELL IT'S STILL NOT GAY!!!!

In MMA it is advised to not even fight that black guy anderson silva . he will beat you so hard your trainers hurt.

Well there are exceptions. He still won the fight though.

Just The Facts

  1. Mma has been called human cockfighting by John McCain . we dont yet know if that was a gay joke.
  2. Only 3 persons have been killed in an mma fight. the number of brain cells is vast but unknown.
  3. In mma its actually advised you put you dick near a guys butt its called guared.

basic aspects if mma (violence)

MMA is a combat sport where two ripped sweaty shirtless men go at it (I would love to watch women do that too.)They beat the crap out of each other until one falls asleep standing up. or choke the shit out of each other which is Another aspect of Mma grappling, that's the part where they role around on the ground and hug for the non-fans. It requires a lot more skill then punching the fucking fuck out of someone. You win on the ground either by cutting blood-flow to the brain or punch them in the face really fast. (I will go into further detail of these later.)

To fight Mma professionally you must be good at punching and kicking the fuck out of people have extremely good conditioning, and also be able to get kicked and punched in the face. It requires a strict training plan so that you can pound those guys better. Especially if you're more inclined for the ground work, his requires less cardio but more strength and flexibility unlike standing. Also knowing Brazilian jiu-jitsu helps so much.

See? totally not gay.

The history of M.m.a .

mma can be traced back to 1976 in Venezuela, Mexico at a cock fight.(roosters you fucking perv)some fine Beaners got the idea to let humans do this except gayer which is somewhat odd considering it was called COCK fighting. Wait that was all incoherent bullshit of the top of my head the real history is much less funny. In the early 1900s people were beating each other senseless in Japan, Europe, and Brazil. They decided why those asshole Americans shouldn't not have brain damage. So the Gracie family brought it to the United States. Most long time fans will recognize that name as the competitor who won the first U.F.C. tournament, Royce Gracie.

royce gracie shown here winning.

MMa at the start.

At first mma was basically a no-rule bear fisted cage fight actually hitting in the balls and puling hair was encouraged! For fucks sake who would condole ball hitting as a sport. Well except gay ass baseball...... `that's barbaric!! I shudder at the thought of professionals pounding each other in the nuts. Though it would be funny to watch. Well after many years and many sterilized fighters they finally implemented rules like you can't smash your opponents nuts into powder and you can't pull hair like a pussy. They also introduced the standard 6-8 oz gloves now used for mma so your face wouldn't get so royally fucked up. Finally there was a way to test different martial arts against each other safely. Well except for the three that died.


How to win:knock-out.

Winning by knockout is one of the more common ways to win a mma match. All you have to do is hit and kick someone in the head so many times their brain says fuck this shit and goes to take a weed nap. It isn't really difficult to knock someone out but requires strength and proper striking technique. It's the most exciting way to win,becuese you see your opponent standing there one moment then...... You kick him in the fucking head and he is laying on the ground in a puddle of the former man he was.

Submission. (or Tap-out.)

Submission or tap out victory usually requires patience and skill. Because submitting someone early in match when they have all their energy is harder then picking up the soap in the prison shower. When you submit someone you win once they tap out or pass out. It's not as common as knockout victorys but is exciting. The most common submission in mma is the arm-bar or a variation of a basic choke-hold. Getting held in a submission until you pass out sucks ass you think you're about to get out but then you see a bright light and your gone. Here is an awesome submission.

watch the video its better.www.break.com/index/mma-submission-of-the-year2.html

T(KO) Technical knockout

A (T)KO victory is achieved by punching your opponent while there on the ground until they lose here guard and the ref stops the fight at his discretion. It's the most fan friendly way for a fighter to win. You can also achieve a (T)KO victory by kicking the shit out of your opponent when they're standing and they get knocked down and can't get up. It can be very fun to watch.

oh! shit!!

unrealted bear sex.unrelated bear sex.


Winning by decision means you have a hell of a cardio vascular system and a good chin. After however many rounds you fight at the end the judges decide usually with the opposite of what everyone else thought would win. It's somewhat boring but right before they announce the results is nerve wrecking. Winning this way can mean it was one of the best fights ever but can also mean the fighter stayed on the ground hugging for 15 min.Fans and competitors usually hate this option because it leaves the descision to someone else instead of a decisive victory's would put a picture of a decision victory but its just a sweaty guy standing with his arm raised.

The U.F.C.

The ufc is like the nfl of fighting its where the top conteders compete in a bloody battle fighting their hearts out in front of thousands of deidicated fans. (i was payed to say that) many hardcore mma fans dislike the ufc and call it corrupt they are idiots.

other aspects of mma.

The clothes are pretty much an aspect of the sport itself like tapout and brands like that . you wont find an mma fighter who doesn't wear tapout .the reason for this is unknown. Even mma fans wardrobe can consist entirely of tapout and other such brands.

There is a genre of music that many companies affiliated with mma use to endorse products or fighters. It is called metal and is the best music ever. If I missed anything tell me in the comments.i think I did but im not sure