Craigslist Sex

I've met some sad people in my lifetime but this really screams desperation. Not to mention, who would actually have sex with one of these people?

The Epitomy of Sadness

Just The Facts

  1. The more craigslist personals you read the more nauseated you feel.
  2. There really are no statistics for how many of these ads actually get responded too.
  3. If there are statistics, I'd prefer not to know.

The Lowdown

As I did my daily scan of the craigslist personals I came to the conclusion that some people are more pathetic than I am. I'm referring of course, to the sad, sad people who actually post these advertisements. I understand the need for another person in your life. I understand the need for that physical connection. I fail to understand when asking random internet people into your bedroom becomes okay.

They come from all walks of life. They span all ages and sexualities. They are on occasion, the most disturbing people to have written anything on the internet. What I have compiled below is a small list of some of the ads that have been posted in recent days. I'll try to encompass a little of everything I find entertaining or just downright disturbing.

looking for older (40+) lesbians for friendship and/or romance - 50

Hi, I recently moved back to Montana. I work full time and enjoy camping, reading, happy hour, animals, movies. . . Getting kind of tired of these activities alone. . Lol I am pretty easy going and drama free. Hope to hear from you soon.

You should really tell your grandma that if she's really looking for that lesbian connection she should probably try all the repressed 40+ women that frequent her local bingo hall. But please just tell her to keep her excursions to herself.

Who wouldn't want a piece of that?

not a toothpick, and its more fun that way! - 23

so a little about me!
*im a bbw- i am a size 16-not obese just a little bigger =)but super cute =)
*im pretty ridiculously fun, i love to joke around and have a great time.
*im looking for a ltr.
*i do drink and smoke on occasion.
*im silly and hoping u are also

what would your ad say??

pic4pic thanks for reading =)

What would my ad say? That is an excellent question! Well, first of all, isn't the first rule of the internet to lie. Not that lying is okay but all you're looking for is a little action should't you idealize yourself. I can appreciate a thicker girl and I have all the respect for this girl, well as much as I can have for someone who whores themselves out on craigslist. But how can she say it's more fun?

Oh and on another note, I wouldn't have an ad on craigslist, at least not that I'm willing to admit.

Are you hot enough??? - 22

I woke up this morning and I thought, I'm tired of meeting all these crazy girls at the bars; doing nothing but buying them loads of drinks, then blowing their minds in bed.
It seems like such a hassle to find a good ho. So I figured I'd try online and see if there are any sexy ladies to bust on.
I've heard of girls that jumped guy's bones after one or two emails. What a concept!!!! A little cyber foreplay is good for the body and soul I guess.
I'm obscenly handsome and not afraid to dazzle the ladies with a dark suit and a sharp smile. I have GQ on speed dial in case they need a model.
So you better be able to pull off a little black dress and no underwear, otherwise your cousin the sexy slut is gonna win me over.
Before you get all pissed and call me an asshole, here's what I'm looking for in a sexy bitch:
-you should know your way around the male member. If you haven't had multiple partners, are terrible at oral, or are saving yourself for marriage, hop on down the road.
-it'd be helpful if you're a blonde. I don't want to have to hear intelligent theories on feminism as much as blonde theories on Lady Gaga and anal sex.
-I'd like it if you had a twin sister who was down for all sorts of things. If two breasts are good, then four bouncing bunnies are better.

Well that's all you're going to get out of me for now, sexy ladies. If you want more you better email me with "sexy" in the title. Toodles.

I think this is the first time I've actually hoped I didn't make the cut. He has requirements on oral sex, which obviously means he's not getting any. I really hope one day he finds someone that can fill his needs. By his usage of the word "toodles" I'm assuming his name will be Antonio and they'll have a magical relationship.

What have we learned?

I don't care how sexually obsessed you are, there is no reason to whore yourself out on craigslist. If you ever feel the urge to respond to, or post your own, craigslist sex request I want you to think of who's going to be reading your ad. Who's going to be responding to your ad. Who's going to be fantasizing about your words. If, after these mental images, you still want to make the ad. Then you have fun with your new, hopefully not diseased or morbidly obese, sex partner.