Gwen Stefani

Gwen Stefani is a singer/fashionista/fragrance maker/mother - kind of like a jack of all trades, master of none.

But at least shes kinda hot.

Just The Facts

  1. Gwen Stefani is a singer...well, allegedly.
  2. Gwen Stefani reportedly shares genes with Carol Vorderman - neither of them appear to age.
  3. She ain't no hollaback girl.

Cracked On Gwen Stefani

We had some respect for Gwen Stefani - leader singer of rock band No Doubt, which was kinda cool until she decided going solo would fill her wallet more. She released horribly catchy tunes to tweens, became more races than Michael Jackson (just cause hes dead doesn't mean we forgot he changed fucking colour) and repeated informed us that "her shit is bananas."

Actually Gwen...

Actually Gwen...

So with Love. Angel. Music. Baby. out, she became Wapanese and decided she would steal four japanese girls "dress them wicked" and "give them names" which seems kinda wrong and racist but no one seems to have called her out on it yet. Then, she decided she was actually ghetto and "down with the hood" and released another shitty album focusing more on hip-hop, but who really cared by that point? After deciding she'd ruined the charts for long enough, she had some kids and now sells over-priced clothes and perfume to make her money, still exploiting her dancers race because everyone knows that a white woman being able to make money by herself is unheard of.

I'm probably going to be haunted by his "ghost" now.

And thats it. Gwen Stefani isn't interesting enough, nor does anyone care enough to be able to write/read more about her wannabe life.

An Exemplar of Terrible Lyrics

1. "You're still a super hot female!" What You Waiting For

2. "Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor, its your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator" The Sweet Escape

3. "Circles and triangles!" Cool

4. "I'd get me four Harajuku girls" Rich Girl (Gwen, stop, you can't just buy people)

5. "If I was a Rich Girl - Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na" Rich Girl

6. "I wish you would come and scratch me" Bubble Pop Electric

7. "The Queen of England would say it randy" Bubble Pop Electric (I really doubt she would)

8. "You know your key is still tick tockin'" Wind It Up (No, thats a clock)

This is not a key.

This is not a key.