Sexually Transmitted Disease

While informing Cracked readers of the risks of sexually transmitted diseases (STD) feels a bit like warning fish about the perils of skydiving, the sad reality is that even they will lose their virginity one day, be it to a hooker or fellow WoW enth

That should keep you safe

Just The Facts

  1. There are over 68 MILLION people in the United States with an STD.
  2. Your mom gave it to almost 24% of them.
  3. Over half of sexually active men & women will contract HPV in their lifetimes.
  4. 19 million new cases of STDs occur in the US alone every year.
  5. Still want to bang that sorostitute/frat boy you just met?

What is an STD?

A Sexually Transmitted Disease or Infection (used interchangeably) is any infection passed from one person to another through intimate contact. This can include but is not limited to vaginal, oral, and anal sex. We'll pause a moment while you all get over the giggles. Feel better? 'Kay. Moving on.

STDs are a serious and increasing problem. Half of all new infections are in the 15-24 age group. One argument for this is the increased reliance on Abstinence Only sexual education method favored in the GW Bush heyday.

How are STDs transmitted?

It's important to note that having an STD, whether you are male or female, does not make you a whore. However, being a whore does increase your likelihood of becoming infected with an STD and passing it on. STDs are most often caused by having sexual contact with another person and either not using protection (ie a condom or dental dam) or using it improperly. This begs the question of how stupid you are that you couldn't figure out how to use a condom, but we digress...

The more people you have sex with, the more likely you are to contract a sexual disease. This is not a conservative religious argument. Sex is fun, and we should have it more. We should just be smart about it.

What are some STDs?


Human Papillomavirus is the group name for all the viruses that give you warts. There are over 100 strains of the virus. Some are sexually transmitted; others are not. You won't get warts from kissing a toad, but you can get it from letting some strange dude stick his pecker in you.

HPV is the ninja of STDs. The majority of sexually active people have, had, or will get HPV, and many of them will never know it. Men in particular rarely show symptoms. These symptoms include warts of various shapes and size on your pubic area. They can be internally located on women, making their detection more difficult.

The problem with HPV, however, is more than its habit of showing up uninvited. High-risk HPV strains can cause cervical cancer in infected women, and no matter how you swing it that shit just ain't funny. These days there is an HPV vaccine for women, which helps significantly against infections when given before the subject becomes sexually active.

Condoms help but do not prevent the transmission of HPV.